3D Coaching

2011-09-21T14:51:00.000+01:00

We have moved!

You will now find our blog in the 3D Website www.3dcoaching.com

See you there!

2011-06-27T13:01:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 532: What They Don’t Tell You

Claire writes: 'It must be the season for job applications because we have been doing plenty of interview coaching lately. You may have seen the article in last week’s Church Times about just one of the courses we ran this month.

By the time you get to interview, all the candidates will meet the person profile, more or less. The job of the application form/ CV is to give enough evidence of how you meet the job spec, why you want to work for them and why they want to appoint you – so that you get on the short list. I am looking over a form this morning which gives great data about ‘why I would like to do a job like that in any organisation’ but fails to address the question – why I want THIS job with YOU.

What the interviewers want to know on the day is whether their hunch that you fit the profile is correct and then what else you bring? What will you bring to the role that the other candidates don’t? You need to know your added value and to be able to clearly communicate it – even if – or especially when – you are an internal candidate. What’s your added value? Think about it...'

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Top Interview Tips

1 Give evidence
2 Give evidence
3 Give evidence

Eg This is how I do that. Here is an example and this was the outcome...

Evidence means there is no spin. And it can be easier to talk about something that has happened than simply to talk about yourself. Being interviewed well has no spin. But it means that the interviewers will know why you are the right person to appoint. Or why not!

You only get one chance at an interview. Talk to us about interview coaching if you would value some good preparation.

2011-06-17T12:27:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 531: The importance of context

Claire writes: "After a recent coaching supervision where we had been exploring the power of saying very little, I said to the coach: 'Less is More'. She responded: 'Even less is even more.'

I was so struck by the powerfulness of her comment that I put it on Twitter. And received many strange responses including: I was puzzled because the logical extension was that nothing is everything. Either very profound or... :)

I still think 'Even less is even more' is profound in one to one conversations which are so often full of noise. And it's also a great lesson of the importance of context! Think about it..."

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Less is More

In 'Techniques for Coaching and Mentoring ', Megginson and Clutterbuck suggest that "It takes approximately 4.5 seconds of silence on the car radio for the average person in western society to change channels. Silence is a phenomenon we are ill equipped to handle; we attempt to fill it as quickly as possible. Yet silence truly can be golden"

If you are a coach, and you know that you talk too much, contract with your client at the beginning of the conversation that you won't break the silence - it's up to your client to tell you when they are ready to speak again.

2011-06-13T12:09:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 530: Thinking and Crying

Jane writes: "I read an article recently called ‘It is a crying shame we don’t weep more’. It referred to research by Professor Gail Kinman who stated ‘Many people feel cleansed after a good cry’.

According to a Tears Factsheet published by the College of Optometrists the tears brought about by emotion contain a different chemical make-up than other tears; they have more protein. It has been suggested that by excreting these hormones in the form of tears, your body helps you feel calmer and less emotional afterwards.

So if someone you’re with needs to cry – let it happen. Don’t judge them by their ability to ‘hold themselves together’, allow them to connect with and respond to their grief, anger, happiness or pain, and potentially benefit from doing so.

Nancy Kline understands this. Read Chapter 9 in her book ‘Time to Think’ where she talks about how crying can make you smarter.

Kinman says ‘We cannot sustain strong emotions for very long and have to dampen them somehow. A good cry is a great way of doing that.’

What can you do when someone needs to cry at work? Think about it..."

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2011-06-06T16:05:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 529: Exploration

Claire writes: “We took the team away last week for our annual 3D Residential where we benchmark our coaches’ skills, look at development for the year ahead and have fun together. For the third year in a row, we went to Little Gidding which is the subject of a TS Elliot poem. It has so much to teach us about what makes a powerful conversation:

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

That’s what happens when we give people we listen to, space and time to think and be curious and understand differently. So next time you are talking and wonder whether you’re going round in circles, consider what exploring would be like? Think about it...

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

In the News

The Government’s “listening exercise” on its NHS reforms were meant to finish last week. There’s a big difference between listening with an agenda and really listening. Real listening takes exploration, time and attention. I’m wondering what this felt like to those involved – and not involved?

Call us to talk about how we can help you are your team develop listening skills. Simply.

2011-05-23T15:09:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 528: Rocket Science

Claire writes: "It's when someone gets slightly irritated when describing their skills and says 'Of course I do that - doesn't everyone?' that we know we are getting to the heart of what's unique about them. Because not everyone does things like you do - and probably your most important skills are the ones that you don't think are rocket science.

I can remember speaking at a conference about career change and finding your purpose. Having invited all the delegates to talk with their neighbour to try and extract their core skills, a man in the front row stood up. He told me that he had taken early retirement at 50, had a great CV and wouldn't be doing the exercise. I offered to look at his CV instead. The first page spoke of communication skills. 'Imagine that a lady from customer services in a supermarket is sat next to you. She also has communication skills', I said. 'What are different about yours?'

You could tell that he understood things in a different way when he smiled and replied: 'I'm a trained hostage negotiator. I get it!' Then he rewrote his CV!!

Clarity about skills is important when you are looking for a different kind of job and are unclear what that might be. It's also important when you are being interviewed and all the candidates fit the person profile. The job is likely to be appointed on that extra piece of uniqueness. And you need to be able to describe it.

What is different about your skills? Think about it..."

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2011-05-06T16:43:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 526: Forgive and Forget

Claire writes: “The TV commentators at the British Royal Wedding last week drew similarities with Prince William’s last big outing at Westminster Abbey at the funeral of his mother, Princess Diana. Some of the press made an issue of prickly relationships between Prince Charles’ new wife Camilla and some of Diana’s friends. Whether or not that is true, it is a reminder that sometimes it can be hard to move on.

The news channels were then immediately swamped with the death of Osama Bin Laden. There did not seem to be much forgiveness there, and there was much discussion in the media. One 9/11 survivor was reported as saying: "I can't find it in me to be glad one more person is dead, even if it's Bin Laden."

We notice that a lack of forgiveness can cripple organisations and prevent teams from moving forward. Some people are waiting for the perpetrator to apologise when the perpetrator themselves may be completely unaware of having done anything or of its impact.

Forgetting does not require memories to be obliterated – but something needs to happen to allow people to move on. In South Africa, that process has worked well in places. I was at a conference recently where there was a discussion on corporate repentance. One delegate commented that England cannot say sorry for the impact of the crusades because other nations were there as well – and it’s all or nothing.

The reality is that even when the intent of an action is well meant, the impact may have repercussions which require both an apology and forgiveness.

When is an apology on behalf of others enough? When will it only be effective when the person is there? And how do organisations manage that when the pain is historical – or external?

Something to mull over if you’re encountering unforgiveness at work. Think about it..."

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com


Organisational Forgiveness
Kim Cameron has done a research project sponsored by the John Templeton Foundation on forgiveness and organizational virtuousness after organizational downsizing and crisis.

The continuum of forgiveness includes:
•    "We will forgive if we can punish the offender."
•    "We will forgive if justice is done."
•    "We will forgive if society expects it."
•    "We will forgive if an authority or prevailing code demands it."
•    "We will forgive if it re-establishes order."
•    “We will forgive because we love the offender."
Most people connect most with the first few which, Cameron suggests, indicates that organisations must often provide justice and restitution for forgiveness to occur.

Cameron goes on to make recommendations as to how leaders can work through issues that require organisational forgiveness.

2011-05-03T10:51:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 524: That wasn't trivial!

You can pre-order Su and Claire's new book - How to Make Great Appointments in the Church - Calling, Competence and Chemistry

Lynn writes: “Arriving back home I needed to move my car. Having teenage kids in the house and friends visiting, the driveway was pretty full. I found that although there was clear space around the car and apparently plenty behind it, I was stuck. Forward and back I went until my arms hurt and still I was in the same space! In desperation I asked my husband to have a go… and to my perverse delight he too went backwards and forwards for a long time. Finally free he commented: “That wasn’t trivial!”

At home or at work, how often do we start a task that looks simple, launch in and then find we are going nowhere or going round in circles? As managers or leaders we can frequently delegate work to others seeing what we are handing on as simple or trivial, without realising that it is not. Colleagues or volunteers may experience it as a task that is scary or even find that they don’t have the manoeuvring skills to make it happen in the way you do as they have a different field of influence.

The car may have been moved more easily if I’d asked for help as soon as it was clear that the manoeuvre wasn’t trivial. I might have been able to do it myself with some moral support and ideas from some of the other drivers in the house, to have been shown what to do and then gone on an advanced reversing course, or have asked to sit in the passenger seat while Bruce talked me through what he was doing.

Next time you delegate something trivial, what will you do differently? Think about it...

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Teaching differently

When we train people to use coaching and mentoring skills, our definition of mentoring is: ‘I know something you don’t know and I’ll tell you if you want me to’

Coutts and conducted a nationwide survey of 500 entrepreneurs and business owners last month and discovered that the development of apprentices and mentoring schemes is a key requirement in encouraging the spread of entrepreneurs in the UK.

Who are you developing?

Call us if you want to further develop your coaching and mentoring skills at work. We have a new course starting on 5th June.

2011-04-26T13:33:00.000+01:00

Claire writes: ‘Internships have hit the headlines in the last couple of weeks. Is it acceptable to use personal contacts to find unpaid work placements? That’s for you to decide...

Whatever you think, a large amount of movement in the jobs market comes from networking and making connections through people who are known to you. That’s why LinkedIn is so successful. Our office neighbour is a recruitment consultant with jobs on his books. He fills them by making connections.

Whether you’re at the beginning of your career or changing jobs, one of the most powerful questions you can ask is: 'Who do you know who I need to be talking to about...?' It elicits a very different response from the closed question asked in the style of ‘Have you got a job?’

Elite? We asked a ‘Who do you know who...?’ question on Twitter the other day and got a great response from someone we had never met which was both useful information and a great lead for potential work. In 1996, Microsoft did some research which indicated that it is true that people are connected by less than 6.6 degrees of separation. Whatever their social status.

Who do you know who would benefit from having a 'Who do you know who...'conversation? Think about it... You may like you to forward this to them.

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2011-04-15T14:41:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 523: Pain

Jane writes: "Pain is a strange thing. It can be strong, it can be mild, it can be chronic, and it can be frightening. However it feels it’s impossible for anyone else to understand what it’s like for you. And sometimes, fortunately, it’s over. I recently cared for my daughter through her labour and was reminded that, when the pain of labour is over and a healthy new life is delivered, the memory of the pain soon fades away to make way for pleasure and wonder at what is possible as a result of real effort.

How does pain relate to coaching? Well, we don’t aim to inflict physical pain, although we find that helping people to identify and articulate the consequences of not taking action in a given situation can be painful for them. So is facing up to the truth about a situation and what this means. Recognising the impact of how we have behaved up to now can hurt as well.

We have found that where we are direct and honest with people, so that they can be truthful, they grasp responsibility for taking actions that they might not otherwise have contemplated. Facing the personal consequences of not taking action can be a powerful motivator, as can understanding that the pain to come will deliver a reward that will include pleasure and wonder about what is possible as a result of real effort.

Many executives have developed a high pain threshold, so sometimes we have to be very direct and challenging to jolt them into action. We do this carefully, mindful of the ethical guidelines and competencies of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Where do you need to feel pain so that it will lead to learning and change? Think about it..."

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2011-04-04T10:58:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 522: No Place at Uni?

Jane writes: "Simon Dolan is worth £70m. He was a bright child, but couldn’t see the point of most of the subjects he had to study and was asked to leave school at 15. He says that there’s a big lie going round, the one that says you stand a better chance of getting a good job if you have a degree. Of course there are some professions that absolutely require years at university, but there are many that do not, and many ways to gain professional qualifications and credibility whilst working.

Our experience of working with people who don’t know what they want to do next fits well with some of Simon’s tips:

1.   Think niche (for Simon doing VAT returns wasn’t niche, doing it just for IT contractors was)
2.   Talk to interesting people who are doing interesting stuff
3.   Don’t spend weeks on a detailed business plan
4.   Don’t borrow lots of money
5.   If you’re the parent of a young person with an idea for a business – get behind it

Think about it..."

We work with young people seeking their way in life, people who have got ‘stuck’ in roles or organisations that just don’t suit them anymore, people who find themselves without work, and others who just don’t know what they want to do. All our ideas are available free on the website or come to one of our workshops.

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2011-03-25T11:10:00.000Z

3D Juggling 521: Different Places

This week, we've been working with NHS teams on communication styles, equipping clergy to find their next job and having some interesting conversations about how to thrive in a rapidly changing environment. And we have received some feedback: I found the session useful and informative. 3D is really that - the session gave me a 3D perspective on job hunting following redundancy.

Nadia writes from Dubai: "I am learning to adapt to living and working in a different country. It is an interesting experience. Whilst it is very Western it is not the same as the UK. I find that my assumptions and expectations have to change. For example my assumption and expectation on overtaking on a motorway is wrong, here you weave in and out of six lanes of traffic! My assumption that as a woman I can initiate shaking hands when I meet a man is not what happens here. Unless they offer you their hand first you do not offer yours. It’s not better or worse, right or wrong, it’s different.

I have to learn to do things differently. I have to accept that what I normally do and what I expect has to change and I have to adapt to my current situation. I am aware that I have to observe, listen, communicate and react differently. It is refreshing, and I notice that my senses have been re-awakened.

It made me think how this relates to the work environment. As a team leader do you just assume that everyone understands what you expect, do or say? How do you know? What are your assumptions of your team? How do you communicate what you want? What could be done differently?

As a team member, do others really know how you work? What are their assumptions of you and you of them? How do you communicate with others? What needs to be different?

Take some time to look at yourself and those you work with, with fresh eyes, listening ears and different expectations. See if it makes a difference to your work environment. Think about it..."

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Selecting the right person for a role
Meredith Belbin, who developed the notion of ‘team roles’ recently said ‘When you recruit the wrong person with the right qualification you are going to have a challenge in changing the individual’s preferences’. We don’t believe that there is always a ‘right’ person for a role, although one candidate will be a better fit than others. If you already use assessment centres, or interview processes with a series of different activities to help you assess competence, you probably use a psychometric tool. We help organisations make successful selection decisions using a tool called DiSC as part of their approach to assessment. This helps explore chemistry.
Find out more or ask us about our half day DiSC workshop.

2011-03-18T10:18:00.000Z

3D Juggling 520: Communicating Effectively

Jane writes: Towards the end of the 1967 movie Cool Hand Luke, Luke says “What we've got here is failure to communicate”. Then he gets shot. What he said may have been true, but it didn’t achieve the best of outcomes.

Communicating effectively is core to our success at work, at home, in our communities. It’s particularly important when we need to be agile during times of change. It doesn’t mean always saying what we feel or think when we’re feeling or thinking it and leaving the other person to deal with the fallout, and it doesn’t mean holding onto stuff until we explode over everyone. Maybe something that John Galliano should have understood. France, as Galliano is in the process of finding out, is a secular society with a zero tolerance policy to incitement of religious hatred, with culprits facing up to six months in jail.

Effective communication does mean treating others with respect, exchanging some meaning (so listening and checking things out is important), and creating some value. It allows for different views and beliefs, recognising that where these are different it is possible to acknowledge this and respect the other person’s position - allowing us to carry on our conversation.

We like the advice given in Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success in Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott, and Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen.

The phrase ‘what we've got here is failure to communicate’ is often used to allocate blame when it has not been possible to reach agreement about something, especially when we view the other person as a powerful opponent. What difference could it make if we viewed them as someone with a different view or agenda to ours rather than an opponent, and acknowledged this as a starting point for a new conversation?

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2011-03-11T15:51:00.000Z

3D Juggling 519: Get it on the table

We’ve been uploading videos from last week’s Career Makeover Masterclass onto our new YouTube channel this week. We are planning to upload more of our ideas so that they will be freely available on the website, through YouTube – and maybe one day through our new discovery AudioBoo

Claire writes: How many times have you tried to have a conversation with someone - at work or at home - and it has turned either into an argument or a monologue?

We have learned two things over the years about good conversations.

You only get one go! If you blow it, it will take you hours/ days/ months/ years to recover the relationship. Real play can help you here - say it out loud and have the conversation with the dog, a colleague, a friend or a coach before you do it for real. This is not rehearsal or a script but you will be amazed what you learn when you speak out those three points you have written down.
Have the conversation on the table: Performance management - whether for staff or volunteers - can sometimes become confrontational when you do it face to face One way forward is to put the issue literally on the table by using objects to describe it and play with it so that it becomes something you can see and manipulate rather than it being in your head. This will take the pressure out of the situation. Sit with your colleague and point at the objects: This is me - this is you. What I see happening is... I wonder what we need to do? What do you see? How is this impacting? You can both manipulate the objects to understand what is going on.

Christine had to have a difficult conversation the other day and she rang us: "Talking things through with you helped me to think strategically rather than emotionally about a very difficult situation.Your guidance provided me with a structure to work within that I would never have come up with on my own - it meant that I was able to communicate clearly and authoritatively in a non-confrontational way. Thank you."

Are there times when real play or table conversations will help you? Think about it...

Team Sculpting

In our coaching and team supervision work, we have learned to explore team dynamics, by sculpting the team – either with people – or as a picture on a flipchart. This can create clarity and more understanding between team members of what is actually going on.

P Hawkins, N Smith. Coaching, Mentoring and Organisational Consultancy (McGraw Hill)

2011-03-07T08:35:00.000Z

3D Juggling 518: Say What You See

As well as seeing clients this week, we will be putting into action some of the ideas which we came up with in our conversation with Business Link last week. Lynn has plans to go to Leicester several times in the next few weeks. Contact us if you'd like to meet her for coffee to talk about how we can help you. This week's juggling revisits something we said a few years ago (3D Juggling 367) because we think it's important! Remember that you can access all the old 3D Jugglings online

Claire writes: "The technical term is dissonance. The reality is that sometimes people will say one thing and their body language and whole demeanour will be saying something else. Sometimes there is just a mismatch, but usually something else is going on. The skill of the coach or, in fact, the good friend or colleague is to say what you see. No interpretation. No inference. Just to say what you notice. I have seen huge power in simple interventions like that in coaching which I have observed over the last couple of weeks.

It's the simplicity which carries the power. When a friend tells you how excited they are about all the extra work they've taken on, yet they look weighed down, the power is just to say what you notice. Quick reaction often forces us into: Are you sure you're not working too hard? I think you may have taken on too much. You must be careful. Those comments often produce defensiveness in their receivers. Simple is powerful: I hear you telling me how exciting the work is. And I see your body looking exhausted. What's that about?

It works with what you hear, as well!"

© 2008 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

‘Intuition really does come from the gut. It's also a kind of matching game based on experience. There are times when trusting your gut is the smartest move—and times you'd better think twice.’
Carlin Flora

We use gut feelings when coaching or trying to achieve a ‘break through’ in difficult situations. People tell us that this saves them a lot of time and enables transformational change. We can teach you how to recognise and use your gut feelings – and what to do when these prove to be wrong.

We cover this on Coaching for Excellence the next one is on 8/9 June and 5/6 July 2011 in Milton Keynes.

2011-03-01T09:53:00.001Z

3D Juggling 517: Entrepreneur-ship

Jane and Claire write: 'With the arrival of Hilary Devey as the new Dragon for the 2011 series of Dragon's Den, entrepreneurs are in the headlines again this week. Entrepreneurs are not just millionaires who have spare money to invest as business angels. We regularly meet people in public sector roles and in the church who also share many of these entrepreneurial skills - just not the money to match!

Arthur Ransome's 'Swallows and Amazons' is a story of entrepreneurs. When assessing how risky it was to let her children out on a lake on their own, the mother's response is 'Better drowned than duffers. If not duffers will not drown.' She had confidence in them and that what they had learned in a safer environment would serve them well in their next adventure.

Many of the people we meet are being encouraged to behave like an entrepreneur and to develop new business opportunities. Some don’t really understand what this means or see it as an adventure too far where there is a real risk of drowning. We think that being an entrepreneur - even when someone else is paying your wages - is about using the skills, knowledge and experience which you have already gained to create something new. This might be be:
•    spotting opportunities and connections (and investment!)
•    developing a new response to a familiar situation or need
•    adapting a familiar response to a new situation or need
•    a new response to a new situation or need

The last of these is the one that most people find scary. Entrepreneurial practice is learned from experience. The children in Swallows and Amazons took a risk. So did their parents! And it paid off.

Could you be an entrepreneur where you are? Or are you one already - if only you could recognise it? Think about it... '

The theory:

Way back in 1934 Schumpeter stated that ‘learning in the natural and social world’ is important for entrepreneurs. In 1985 Drucker proposed that ‘recognising and acting on opportunities is an important aspect of entrepreneurial behaviour, which is going beyond the boundaries of what is known and expected, rather than simply replicating something which already exists’.

Entrepreneurial practice is learned from experience. Learning from your experience is an outcome of coaching. Action Learning Sets are an even more cost-effective way to enable learning from and with others. As a coaches and as facilitators of Action Learning we can bring theories and models and stories that will challenge your thinking even further as you develop your skills.

We’re entrepreneurs. Talk to us.

2011-02-17T15:16:00.000Z

3D Juggling 516: Ambition - Good or Bad?

Claire writes: I find it interesting that what you say in a moment without attachment - and soon forget - can be more meaningful to the receiver than an influencing campaign! Last week's lunch companion quotes me as saying: "Ambition is neutral. It's what you do with it that matters."

Often people see ambition as pushy and overbearing. Equally a lack of ambition can lead to inertia. It doesn't have to be about money or fame. In fact research by William Damon, Professor of Human Development at Stamford University suggests that money and fame don't in the end satisfy people. Purpose comes from doing something meaningful to the self and consequential to the world beyond the self. It needs to make a difference. What's interesting about his research is that he says that Science and religion say the same thing.

Ambition is neutral. It's what you do with it that matters. Think about it...

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

Aiming for what?

There have been plenty of press articles recently about financial ambition and how young people are ambitious for celebrity and fame

Over 25 years we have done a lot of work around purpose. Our Career Makeover Masterclass on 5th March is a day to help you explore how you can find a completely different kind of job - with purpose. It's appropriate for people looking for their first job, returning to work after a period of unemployment, facing redundancy or just looking for a change. Call us on 01462 483798 if you'd like to come. To make it affordable it's £50 and concessions are available.

2011-02-11T15:55:00.000Z

3D Juggling 515: My wife doesn't understand me

Jane writes: "In response to the statement ‘My wife doesn't understand me’ Marshall B Rosenberg asked ‘Do you understand your wife?’

How often do you think you know what another person is trying to say before they have finished speaking? How often do you get it wrong?

Let us take you out for coffee to explore how we help you/your organisation to develop more productive responses to difficult situations.

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

I've been supporting the development of senior managers in a large public sector organisation. Several consistent themes have emerged about the culture within the organisation and I've heard a lot about what these managers would like to be different about it. One of the things that they want is for other people to hear them. Sometimes this need is grounded in a need to have leaders hear about their concerns and ideas, sometimes it is about getting other people to do what they are told.

I referred to Stephen Covey's 5th habit: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. Simple, effective, but often very difficult to do.

These managers are under pressure to bring about significant changes that they don't always agree with. They understand the drivers for these changes and they accept the need for them to happen (they get it intellectually) however they are concerned about the impact of these changes on staff and service users (the practical and emotional impact). They want their concerns to be heard, and they seek a supportive response. Their expectation, based on experience, is that neither of these things will happen.

The story that helped them to accept responsibility for exploring and understanding the messages they are receiving came from Marshall B Rosenberg. They are now working out how to respond differently to the demands that are made of them, in ways that enable them to understand the pressures and needs of those who are doing the asking. They realise that those doing the asking are more likely to be willing to listen to concerns and ideas that acknowledge their needs.

2011-02-04T16:28:00.000Z

3D Juggling 514: Appropriate Luggage

What have you got planned this week? Last week Jane was working with a senior management team around communication, Claire was working with training incumbents to develop their supervision skills and Lynn was having some important conversations about coaching in education.

Claire writes: I was talking to someone last week who said: 'We need to recognise that transition is a permanent state for my organisation and stop waiting for it to end'. It got me thinking about travelling! Even when you listen to the story of Moses and the Israelites getting out of Egypt, transition was a travelling mode. People on gap years manage to get everything they need into a rucksack and then stay wherever they chose - or can. They're really flexible to what arises. I always used to travel with a Swiss Army knife and a sarong. They're useful for anything! Carry a rucksack and a small tent and you can choose to move fast or stay for a while.

Contrast that to last week's TV footage of travellers trying to get out of Egypt. Their huge suitcases probably contain almost nothing that is useful to an extended stay in an airport. They may have packed for a hotel holiday to see the pyramids or the coast. And when you cannot return to the hotel, you have a problem.

What would you begin to do differently if you recognise that transition is a permanent state for your context? Think about it...

Meet with one of us over a coffee (we’ll pay) and explore how we can help you to bring about some changes in the way that you manage transition.

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Permanent Transition?
Last week's survey from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) said that 20% of UK workers fear for their jobs. In the public sector, that figure rises to nearly one in three workers.

CIPD calls on managers to demonstrate high-quality leadership in order to raise morale and engagement in the workplace. The quarterly survey illustrated the extent to which employees are concerned about their standard of living "as inflation continues to erode the real value of wages".

Almost a third of those surveyed said their standard of living had got worse over the last six months. compared with just 10% who said it had improved.

"If organisations don't invest in developing high-performing managers, they may find better managed competitors racing past on the road to recovery," said CIPD's Ben Willmott. "Employers need to find cost-effective ways of equipping their line managers with the people management skills to support employee engagement and wellbeing."

This is where coaching skills can transform the workplace. Talk to us about how we can help you help your organisation. And remember that there is a Career Makeover Masterclass on 5th March for those who need to find a completely different kind of job - internally or externally.

2011-01-28T11:58:00.000Z

3D Juggling 513 Mini Jobs

After last week's Juggling on Trust, someone helpfully pointed us to this Reith Lecture called Trust and Transparency

Jane writes: At my Pilates class last night I was having a conversation with someone about their job. One of the things she said really struck me – that in previous jobs she had always been able to clear her desk at the end of the day, but that now she finds this to be impossible. She has resigned herself to never being able to get through everything. It was great to hear that she could cope with this, but it set me thinking about the difference that could be achieved if it was practical to organise some jobs differently so that resource was available for short amounts of time that might help others to ‘catch-up’. From my experience I’d guess that even an extra 2-3 hours a week could be used effectively to make a real difference.

Then I remembered what I had read about out-of-work benefits and in-work support. How could you benefit from thinking about different work patterns that offer jobs on reduced hours? What issues would this approach present? How could you resolve them?

Meet with one of us over a coffee (we’ll pay) and explore how we can help you to bring about some changes in the way that things get done where you are.

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

In the white paper ‘Universal Credit: Welfare that Works’, in which the government lays out its plans to merge out-of-work benefits with in-work support. The success of this approach will depend on the availability of ‘mini-jobs’ that provide opportunities for those on benefits to do small amounts of work without losing them.

Have a look at People Management 25 November 2010
http://www.slivers.com/overview/flexible_workforces.html
http://www.dwp.gov.uk/policy/welfare-reform/legislation-and-key-documents/universal-credit/

2011-01-21T13:57:00.000Z

3D Juggling 512: Trust

Claire writes: 'After a family party last weekend, where one of the children's wheelchair was stolen from the hotel, I decided to Tweet to see if anyone could help us look for it. Little did we imagine what response we would get. By Sunday afternoon @3dclaire was trending in the UK. Someone's husband walked round the local farmers market showing stall holders a photo of the chair to ask for help. Other people put us in touch with the local media. Others offered supportive comments and offers of practical help.

We trusted that the wheelchair was safe - and someone broke that trust. People talk about random acts of kindness and equally we experienced random acts of generosity from people who trusted that this was a genuine request and not a scam. Trust goes a long way. And in a world of bad news stories, kindness stands out. What would it be like if we trusted more... and were willing to be generous to strangers? Think about it...

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Doing more with less
There are often cutting comments in the press about the relationship between Cameron and Clegg, often speculating about the degree of trust between them. The lack of trust saps energy, fosters a climate of suspicion, and replaces teamwork with internal politics. If this feels familiar we recommend a book called The Speed of Trust by Stephen M R Covey. Covey gets to the core roots of ethical behaviour and integrity and demonstrates how trust can speed everything up – surely critical in organisations where resources are being cut. He offers a different approach to thinking about how to do more with less.

His first recommended behaviour is to ‘talk straight’. Be honest. Tell the truth. Let people know where you stand. Use simple language. Call things what they are. Demonstrate integrity.

This is what we do when we coach. You can learn how via our Coaching for Excellence programme.

2011-01-14T13:23:00.000Z

3D Juggling 511: Underemployment

Claire writes: I had one of our cups of coffee last week with someone who works for a public sector organisation which has already made its first round of redundancies. Those people who are left are expected to deliver the same service with less resource. Does that sound familiar?

It may well be that their work can be done differently and more effectively with less people. But only if they have time to stop and think. James Watson, an American scientist, said: “It is necessary to be somewhat underemployed if you want to do something significant”. Creativity comes when our minds are not fully or over occupied. What can you do to create just enough underemployent in your week? Think about it...

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

When we are working with executives and executive teams we often become aware of ‘tension’ between executive directors (EDs) and non executive directors (NEDS). Typically EDs value the external experience, expertise and challenge that NEDs bring whilst experiencing frustration about how this is offered (‘they don’t understand our constraints...’), and NEDs value the experience, expertise and commitment of EDs whilst experiencing frustration at their assumptions about what’s possible (and often, in the public sector, an apparent lack of accountability). We’re thinking about how NEDs establish authority and relate to EDs, and about how EDs can help them to challenge appropriately. We’d love to hear about your experiences.

Click here for a factsheet from the Institute of Directors about the role of a NED

2011-01-07T15:06:00.001Z

3D Juggling 510: Question and Answers

Claire writes: My daughter met Danny Boyle last week at a showing of his new film 127 Hours . Her friend posted a picture on Facebook and we were left with the question: Who IS Danny Boyle? We worked it out in the end - although our answer was Director of Slumdog Millionaire and hers was Director of 127 Hours!

As James Thurber so wisely said, 'It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.' There's a lot of uncertainty around at the moment. Knowing some of the questions and living with them can, in the end, produce a much more fruitful outcome than rushing straight for an answer. Think about it...

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Enterprise Allowance Scheme
David Cameron has announced a bid to turn up to 40,000 jobless people into successful entrepreneurs. The Enterprise Allowance Scheme will provide finance supported by guidance and advice from local business mentors. It will be piloted in Merseyside and rolled out across the country by the autumn. If you know someone who might be interested their first step is likely to be working out what their business could be, or how to develop an interest into a business. Tell them to give us a ring – we can help them think this through so that they have a flying start.

2010-12-17T11:37:00.000Z

3D Juggling 507: Looking carefully

We would like to take this opportunity to wish you a very Happy Christmas from all the 3D Team: Claire, Lynn, Jane and Sue; Liz, Clare, Peronel, Su, Richard, Nadia, and Kate.

Jane writes: "Last year I was visiting family and friends in Australia at Christmas and for the first time I didn’t put up any decorations in my house. My friend, who considers the festive season to have truly arrived once she can see my tree lights sparkling from her window, expressed her disappointment. This year I determined to make a show, and was looking forward to decorating my tree. I carefully (so I thought) tested the tree lights before draping them over the branches and adding an uncoordinated array of baubles and silver foil bells made by the little people in my life. Then I turned them on again and – you guessed – they didn’t work!

Actually that’s not strictly true. The blue and green bulbs worked, but not the yellow and red ones. I realised that when I’d checked them I’d just looked to see if they lit up - I took a quick glance, saw twinkling, and was satisfied.

This is a time of year for looking carefully – to see who might need our help to be able to enjoy the festivities without feeling lonely or overwhelmed, or maybe needs support and encouragement as they face uncertainty about their job. Where could you be looking? How could you help?

We should also look for opportunities to enjoy ourselves. I managed to disentangle the lights from my tree and they have been replaced by some new ones –along with some caramel filled chocolate bells. Mmmm!"

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-12-06T11:13:00.002Z

3D Juggling 506: The great lie

Jane writes: "According to a leading business expert speaking this week ‘Britain would flourish as an international trading nation outside the economic shackles of the European Union’*. This view contradicts the key argument posed by some that leaving the EU would wreck the UK’s trade prospects.

Take a step back. Think about some of the things the current government is aiming to do to achieve the level of savings it has committed to find, and to put customers’ at the heart of decision making about how services are delivered. If you are involved in the design and delivery of services that have been provided by the public sector for many years, how does this feel?

What are you doing to ensure that your service, assuming it is of value, continues to be available when there’s no money to deliver it from within your current organisation? Are you waiting to see what happens while you worry about the impact that leaving the ‘safety’ of the public sector may have on you? Or are you talking with the other people and organisations that are, or could, be interested in what you do, with the intention of finding new and sustainable ways of doing it?

Received wisdom may be that there’s a need for your service, that you know best how to deliver it, and that customers want it to be delivered by you – that’s there’s no better alternative. That may be a great lie. Your service may be able to flourish independently. You probably know how to make this happen, although you may need some help to work out how. And if you're in the church or voluntary sector, who do you need to be talking to now?

We have worked with many individuals and teams to help them develop alternative futures. How could we help you?

*Quote from Ruth Lea, Economist and Director of Global Vision.

If it would be useful to talk this through, call us to talk more. And if you have a 3D Juggling idea, we'd love to hear from you.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-11-29T09:34:00.002Z

3D Juggling 505: David's Trees

David has been a loyal reader of 3D Juggling for many years. He writes: "Fourteen years ago we moved into a house with a dozen attractive small bushes outside the front door. Each year they were pruned, but each year they grew to the extent that for the last 3 years we have said what an eyesore they are; but we did nothing about them.

This morning the sun shone and we took a saw to the worst of them, drastically pruned the rest and so opened up the vista so that we could again see the horses in the adjacent field and the cones on the cedar tree.

As I laboured I reflected on how many things there might be in my life which had grown to a point where they were taken for granted without me having the courage to do anything about them. With courage to act, time can be created for new visions and new activities that could enrich our lives.

Are there any bushes in your life which could be pruned or cut down to make your life better?"

If it would be useful to talk this through, call us to talk more. And if you have a 3D Juggling idea, we'd love to hear from you.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-11-19T13:54:00.002Z

3D Juggling 504: The shocking truth about waste

Jane writes: "In the paper today (19 Nov 2010) was an article titled: ‘The shocking truth of Whitehall waste’. This waste included £26,000 spent on training staff how to have difficult conversations. The training was designed to ‘help staff have increased confidence and capability’. Unfortunately it didn't say for what purpose – the specific difference that this investment was intended to achieve.

OK, there are other ways that increased confidence and capability could be achieved. And we all need to find ways that have no cost, or very little cost, for our organisations/customers.

Maybe this is all about choices. Do we help staff to have conversations about the things they need to be talking about or, by not doing so, allow them to keep avoiding difficult issues for fear of the consequences? And these consequences are likely to be for them and for others. What if they are being bullied or harassed? What if their ideas are being stolen? How about when they discover things that could damage their organisation's reputation?

There are many interesting and challenging situations and behaviours emerging in organisations as they face austerity measures. It's not easy to tell people about the need to fundamentally change the service they have been providing for many years, or about redundancies.

So, do we help people learn how to have difficult conversations safely? Or do we all suffer the consequences -- which include all the time that gets wasted on trying to avoid the inevitable and recover when it happens?

Tell us what you think, and share a coffee with us to ask us how we can support you in finding ways of working with your organisation, or your customers, in ways that are affordable and deliver recognised improvements."

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-11-12T14:43:00.000Z

3D Juggling 503: Sawdust

Claire writes: "I spoke at a lunch for retired businessmen recently. We were exploring what needs to happen to make sure that retirement contains some purposeful things as well as simply being busy. I told them Stephen Covey's story about filling a jar:

A man was talking to a group of busy and powerful people and used a one-gallon, wide-necked jar to make a point. First he took about a dozen fist-sized rocks and placed them, one at a time, into the jar.

When the jar was full, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone said, "Yes." Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table, pulled out a bucket of gravel, poured it in and shook the jar so that the gravel worked itself into the spaces between the big rocks.

Then he smiled and asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good!" he replied. And he reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. Again he poured it it, shook it and asked: "Is this jar full?"

Finally he grabbed a jug of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked up at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"

One person raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things into it!"

"No," the speaker replied, "that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all."

At one level, the learning is what are the big rocks which you need to put in first?

All this about what you put into your life. But you're not always in control and it may be that someone else decides to put some sawdust in - and that absorbs your time. Because...at the end of my lunch, a man came up to me and said: If you use sawdust and not sand, other people can put in twice as much water as they did in the Covey story.

So the question is: Whose responsibility is it to make sure that we're not including things like sawdust in our schedule? ANd if we are, what do we need to take out?
Because saturated sawdust becomes very heavy to lift."

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-11-09T14:40:00.000Z

3D Juggling 502: Swiss Balls

Claire writes: "Now that I have got back into a routine at the gym, I am back using Swiss Gym Balls. Yesterday there were no 55cm diameter balls and the only ones I could find were overblown enormous things which were too wide to lift. I'd like us to have one in the office because they're meant to be a healthy way of sitting at a desk - but they do take up rather a lot of room!

Do you ever have conversations or meetings and come away wondering why all the responsibility or actions are left with you?

Think of the Swiss Ball - if you hold one during a conversation, you will
* be unable to see anyone else in the room
* feel slightly overwhelmed
* ache quite quickly
And you won't have much idea of what the other person is doing!

Responsibility is like a Swiss Ball. If you hold it all during a conversation, you will feel overburdened. And if you have to take it all away.... Responsibility needs to take its rightful place - in the space in between you and your companion. Or - in a meeting - on the table. Then you can decide between you who does what and take away a manageable amount of responsibility.

A useful question is: How are WE going to take this forward?

If you work with people who don't like to take responsibility and to give you their swiss ball, and you are a person who likes to fix things quickly and will solve things for them, you can quickly found yourself swamped. It's still supportive to acknowledge the problem and help them find out how they might solve it. But picking it up is like picking up a swiss ball!

Although it can be tempting to grab all of the responsibility, remember how difficult it would be to take a swiss ball home in the car - or on the bus. They're even difficult to get through a door! Maybe you could turn it into a spacehopper!"

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-11-01T11:15:00.000Z

3D Juggling 501: No words

On BBC 2s Big Silence last week, Christopher Jameson said "Life would be transformed for the better if we learned to embrace silence". When that's positive it's transformational... but that's not always the case:

Jane writes: "I am reading a book called ‘The Help’ by Kathryn Stockett where she talks about a series of events which initiated a feeling of great bitterness. The character describes how her face went hot and her tongue went twitchy. She didn't know what to say, all she knew was that she wasn't saying it. She knew that the other person involved wasn't saying what she wanted to say either and noticed that there was a strange thing happening where nobody was saying anything yet they were still managing to have a conversation.

Sound familiar? Sometimes we don't respond to what we see and feel because we don't know how to in a way that keeps us safe. Sometimes we don't respond because we don't think it’s our place to do so.

What difference could it make in your organisation if you could help others to acknowledge and respond to what's really going on, to what's being understood through those silent conversations? Could you save the time that is currently being spent on trying to keep the lid on things, and then on dealing with the fallout with the lid flies off? Maybe less time spent dealing with grievances and investigations?

We try to keep our coaching interventions very simple. Simple does not mean easy. We aim to help other coaches achieve simplicity through our Coaching for Excellence development programme, where we strip away all the complexities that have become associated with effective coaching and focus on the core skill of truly listening, of responding to what they see and feel as well as what they hear.

Talk to us about how we can help you through supervision, or about our Coaching for Excellence programme."

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-10-22T08:34:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 500: Review Time

This is the 500th edition of 3D Juggling and some of you have been with us all the way. Thank you. We value your company as much as those who have joined us this week. Welcome. Here's a timely look at the archives.

In 2003, we wrote:

3D Juggling 139: Adjusting nuts

"Do you remember when a computer with the power of a laptop took up several rooms? In those early days, a computer had some problem and the maintenance guru was called. The machine itself was an enormous size, but the glitch was sorted in minutes. The company were rather surprised to receive a hefty bill for a 2 minute job. When challenged, the response came back: "It's knowing which nut to adjust."

TVs, computers and other fiddly pieces of equipment often come with that great button: Reset to default. So when we've twiddled and tweaked and it's still a challenge, we can undo our work and start again.

Unfortunately we don't have reset switches, but are complicated machines, balancing who we are - our body, mind, emotions and spirit with all the factors which make our lives - money, work, family, home etc. Often, deep down we do know what to adjust to make the whole juggling act easier. It's often a question of whether we are willing or able to face it. And if we can't find the answer, often an objective friend or a coach can ask enough insightful questions to begin to find which nut to adjust!"

This is timely because of last week's spending review in the UK. This will have an impact on individuals and on teams - including those that are 'safe' - who will have to bear the guilt and adapt how they work with those that are not.

If your job is disappearing, it may be time to think very differently about what the future might look like. That's what we've been doing in Career Makeovers for many years.

If you're working with teams that are disappearing or know they will look very different in the future, they re-enter Tuckman's Storming phase. This can be a time to acknowledge the reality and move from fighting the change to knowing what the team is here for now.

If you need to manage fallout in any way, Action Learning can help you to have honest conversations and work out what you need to be asking who.

Talk to us about how we can help you, within your budget, know which nut to adjust.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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2010-10-15T14:33:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 499: Who comes first?

Jane writes: "It's been another week of cuts and we still haven't reached the Spending Review in the UK. There is an increasingly limited amount of funding available to support any kind of coaching and training in organisations. How can limited resources be used to have maximum impact on organisational effectiveness?

Customers and volunteers respond to many things, including products, prices, location, and advertising. They also respond to their experience of people. Maya Angelou, an American poet, said “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

One way of increasing effectiveness is to reduce the amount of time spent in responding to complaints and concerns raised by customers, volunteers and other stakeholders. Feedback from customers, whether they are collecting mail from a Royal Mail delivery office, receiving treatment at a hospital, or trying to return a faulty item to a store, is often related to the attitude and behaviour of staff. And the attitude and behaviour staff is likely to be influenced by the way that they are treated by their managers and colleagues.

From my experience of working in organisations I formed the view that the people who really need to be put first are employees and volunteers. If you get it right for them they will get it right for your customers.

It can take a long time to develop loyalty in a customer or volunteer - and just seconds to lose it. How do your employees, colleagues, or volunteers make customers/clients/visitors feel? Do they know? Are they interested? They should be."

Talk to us about how we can help you to develop a culture where staff feel valued, engaged and empowered, and where customers experience positive attitudes and behaviours.

See People Management from 12 August 2010 to read how an IT company with 60,000 staff implemented a management approach that put employees first and customers second. It achieved dramatic improvements in performance underpinned by a 70% increase in employee satisfaction. During a recession.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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2010-10-11T10:59:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 498: Seesaws

If you would prefer to read Juggling in your Facebook news stream, here's the link to Like Us! We've had a number of emails from people with Year 12/13 children who are interested in the Personal Statement Workshop but can't make the date. Yes - we do 1-1s. And if you can get a critical mass together, talk to us about running a workshop in your area.

Claire writes: "I was training a group last week. Their mandate is to spend two hours with individuals helping them to review their work: Guided self-appraisal you might call it. They were great... yet the reviewers were talking on far too much of the responsibility for the conversation. The centre of gravity was resting with the person asking the questions and not the person there to review their work.

Conversations are like seesaws. We have all probably had experience of talking to people who take over, dominate, make everything about themselves. We're left in the air, wondering what it's all about. Yet 1-1s can often feel like that, too. We go to a review or appraisal or 1-1 with things we want to explore, and the person who is there to assist us takes the journey off in their own direction, tries hard to ask questions, gets us to retell things we already know, or tells us their own story.

Seesaws work well when there is balance between the people on them - and a shared sense of responsibility for the ride. This is around content AND style AND even the order in which you discuss things. A productive conversation is much more than reporting back. It has allowed things to be seen and understood in different ways. So some helpful questions when we are facilitating conversations include:

What do you want to talk about?
What do they want to talk about?
And what do you each want to be different by the end of this conversation?
How will you know you have got there?
How will we work together today?
Where shall we start?
Where are we now?
We agreed to x. Have we got where we need to be?

Slightly tweaked, some of these are also great questions for conversations around new business. Where does the centre of gravity need to be in your next work conversation?"

If you want to find out how we can help you develop these skills in your team, call us and we can arrange to have a coffee.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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2010-10-01T16:21:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 497: Orange Juice

We had a great day on Saturday with year 13s writing UCAS statements: "An excellent short course on the basics to understanding what needs to be in your personal statement, excellent for a starting point and for working out what unique things you offer." There'll be another one on 27th November.

Jane writes: "Are you sometimes surprised by what comes out of people? Maybe its anger that you didn't expect in response to something you did or said. Maybe it's what feels like inappropriate tears or laughter.

We are all unique individuals and it is sometimes worth reminding ourselves that those people who know us well are willing to forgive us things that others might not. This is because they know some of our story; they understand why certain things might trigger extreme responses. When we are working with people whose stories we don't know, and this will often be at ‘work’, it can be easy to be confused or irritated by responses that we didn't anticipate. Especially when these get in the way of us getting the job done.

I was reminded recently of a quote from Wayne Dyer. “When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out - because that's what's inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.”

What comes out of you when you're squeezed, maybe as a result of somebody else's behaviour or an unexpected piece of news? Has it ever surprised you? Remember that others may also be surprised by what comes out of them when they're under pressure. You won't help them by judging them, or by focusing on how their response is making you feel. You might help them by acknowledging their response and allowing it. Their response is likely to be the only one that is possible at that moment. You don't need to know why, but you do need to let them know that it's okay to be feeling that way.

How confident you do you feel about helping them to be okay with how they’re feeling and how that is being expressed? How do you help them to focus on where they need to be next?

Talk to us about working with difference. We can support this through the development of coaching skills and action learning sets in your organisation, or maybe just through helping you learn how to have different types of conversations when faced with unexpected responses to what's going on around you."

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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2010-09-27T08:47:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 496: Inspired to what?

Claire writes: "I ran a workshop last week for an organisation who have had to make some of their roles redundant. We were exploring how to apply for a completely different kind of job.

Some of the feedback was that it was inspiring.

I like being inspired. It excites me. It's interesting. It challenges. Sometimes it makes me feel good.
And it's only a feeling unless it leads me to take action. Otherwise it will fade and disappear.

So next time you feel inspired ask yourself: What am I going to do now? And do it!!"

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2010-09-20T10:16:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 495: Big Conversations

Jane writes: "Do you remember when Tony Blair launched a 'Big Conversation' consultation exercise. Back in November 2003? Blair said that "We must engage people about the choices needed”. At the time critics of the idea dismissed it as a New Labour "gimmick”. The Conservative head of policy co-ordination said "I hope he really does listen. The trouble is all the evidence is he won't”.

The idea of the big conversation hasn’t gone away – in fact it’s grown.   At its international conference later this year the International Coach Federation is introducing five Global Conversations to be held concurrently over a two-and-a-half-hour period, taking the place of a traditional keynote address. These will be pretty big conversations!

So who does your organisation need to be having big conversations with? Whose voice do you need to hear in order to truly understand how to adapt and change in order to remain competitive and effective? Is it your customers, your suppliers, your competitors, funders? Or is it policymakers, politicians, local communities?

Big conversations need a purpose. They also need an appropriate environment and the right people need to be engaged. Here are some of the principles that you need to consider:

•    Create a hospitable place
•    Set the context
•    Explore questions that matter
•    Encourage everyone's participation
•    Cross pollinate and connect diverse perspectives
•    Listen together for patterns, insights and deeper questions
•    Harvest and share collective discoveries

Imagine what you could do if you could see and understand all the connections, dependencies, synergies and opportunities which at the moment are hidden from you, or remain undiscovered. People like to be listened to, and heard, and understood, and they like to know that they have had some influence about things that are important to them. Why not take advantage of that?"

If you would like us to help you explore how to have big conversations, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

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2010-09-13T09:05:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 494: Community

Claire writes: "I'm trying out Twitter and received a Tweet this week that says:

World population rankings:
1: China
2: India
3: Facebook
4: USA
5: MySpace
6: Indonesia
7: Brazil
8: Twitter (via @mikamika59)

That was information. Other Twitter exchanges have included conversations - talking to a Canadian coach about her love of Redbush tea and meeting someone who does similar work to 3D in the States. But whatever people say, Twitter is not a community. It's only personal conversations that lead to relationships which build to form a real community. For me, social media is a way of sharing information and only a few of the people we encounter on the way will be people that we get to know.

Is there community where you work? Or are you a group of people who happen to travel daily to the same building? When the economy is hitting the workplace hard, it's the organisations which have fostered community which have the greatest chance of survival. It's then that people stop thinking about 'me and my needs' and start thinking about the needs of the team... and it's then a far shorter journey to consider the needs of our customers and therefore our organisation.

So community is about relationship and not population size. What can you do this week to foster that where you work or live?"

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to build community, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-09-06T13:10:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 493: All Motherhood and Apple Pie

Su writes: "A puzzled colleague appeared from a meeting. What does ‘Motherhood and Apple Pie’ mean? A manager had used this phrase a couple of times in passing, without explanation and with the obvious expectation that those present at the meeting understood what on earth it was she was talking about.
Well, google is our friend at such times, so we accordingly interrogated the oracle on this. After some searching we discovered that there were two very separate answers. Motherhood and Apple Pie could mean: cosy but nebulous or alternatively unquestionable basic beliefs.

So what did the manager mean when she said this? Maybe half the room were imagining what was being described was something rather twee and non-specific while the others felt that this was something which was a requisite and indisputable tenet of fact. So at least two very different messages were being heard.
Sometimes we use language and metaphors that make absolute sense to us but are not understood by others: we risk then passing on incomplete or erroneous information.

Do check to make sure that everyone present is hearing the same thing. Or maybe drop the Motherhood and Apple Pie phrase in to see whether anyone’s really listening. Just for fun."

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to improve communication, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-09-06T13:10:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 492: Commissioning

Jane writes: 'I was speaking with an Organisational Development Manager at a City Council last week who explained that their current focus was on commissioning. Ring any bells? It certainly will if you’re involved in the provision of health or social care, whichever sector you are operating from.

Lynn and I are currently designing a leadership development programme for an NHS organisation, and one of their requirements is that we help participants explore their responsibilities in relation to commissioning and delivery. The outcomes required are changes that improve the quality of, and access to, patient care.

We won the opportunity to undertake this work through a competitive tendering process. We were successful because we offered an approach to leadership development based on our belief that the people in the room will know the answers to the questions they need to answer – our role is to help them find them. They may find them by drawing on their collective experience, knowledge and other resources. They may find them through others or via research. But they will find them. And by finding them they learn how to find answers to questions that haven’t been asked yet – the questions of tomorrow, next month, next year. They will also develop new networks of useful resources, and learn how to help others to do the same.

How do we achieve this? By asking purposeful questions, with confidence that they can be answered.

Here are some examples of questions we may ask about commissioning:
•    What do you need to know? How can you find out?
•    What might you need to predict?
•    What tools and techniques can you use to engage with/understand client needs?
•    What might you need to keep/make flexible/integrate/separate/let go of?

Here are some examples of questions we may ask about service provision:
•    What is the service and what does it deliver? Different viewpoints - stakeholders/partners/ team members/clients...
•    What is the context in which it is delivered? Now and in the future. What do you know? What can you anticipate?
•    If you weren’t providing this service, who would be?
•    How can you be a proactive provider?

And here are some questions for everyone:
•    Who do you need to be speaking with? What’s stopping you? What do you need to do?
•    Where are you now? What else do you need to do? Who can help you?

We will also introduce, where needed, relevant tools and techniques such as LEAN and Experience Based Design.

Who do you know that is involved in some way with commissioning? How could we help them to find the questions they need to ask – and the answers?

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to develop your approach to commissioning, whether as commissioners or providers, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-09-06T13:09:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 491: A Time to Share.... and a time to stay quiet

Su writes: "I arrived very early at the office this morning in order to get some outstanding work completed. In a large open plan office there is just me and one other colleague, head down, working. I fly through my work but with a sense of calm and enjoyment which comes from the knowledge that I am not going to be interrupted. It is nice to have the quiet companionship of a co-worker. The only sounds come from the clicking of the keys and the gentle white noise of the office.

It crosses my mind that I should turn round and tell my colleague what a good way to work this is, without the interruptions and with this calming peace around..... then I realise that to do this would be to destroy it. I would become an interruption.

Best to keep that gem to myself. Knowing when and when not to share is my first lesson today."

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to make time to think, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-09-06T13:08:00.003+01:00

3D Juggling 490: Litigation - or conversation?

Jane writes: "Are you having to find savings that mean other’s jobs might disappear? Check out these statistics. Last year the number of unfair dismissal claims accepted by employment tribunals increased by 9% to 57,400. Claims associated with redundancy pay rose by 76% to 19,000. Age discrimination claims rose by 37% to 5,200.

So how can you and your organisation minimise the risk of litigation when people have to leave even though they don’t want to? When they’re not interested in the reasons why their job has gone, just the impact this has? When they’re scared about the future and want someone to blame? Obviously you need to follow any procedures that your organisation has put in place to comply with legislation, but how can you help people to leave with a good story to tell about their experience of leaving, even if they didn’t want to go?

People are likely to be prepared to 'have a go' at making a claim because they don't have much to lose and could benefit to the tune of a few thousand pounds - even where you have followed all the correct procedures. They may be more likely to ‘have a go’ if they feel that their concerns and fears haven’t been considered, or if they feel that all the goodwill and expertise they have invested in your organisation is being treated as worthless. So make time to talk, and to listen. These are urgent and important tasks – make them a priority.

Invite conversations about reality – theirs, not yours. Hear their concerns and fears without judgement. You don’t need to take responsibility for what happens after they leave, but you should take responsibility for helping them to understand why they are leaving and what they are taking with them. Help them to recognise and accept their responses to unwelcome change, and to recognise and articulate their skills and achievements so that they can explain these to others. Thank them for whatever you can be honestly grateful for.

The number of claims accepted by employment tribunals in 2009-10 was 236,100, an increase of 56% on the previous year. This is the highest figure on record.

What do you need to do to avoid being associated with this increase?"

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to change your approach to restructuring, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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Fact: Employment Tribunals are independent judicial bodies who determine disputes between employers and employees over employment rights http://www.employmenttribunals.gov.uk/. Fighting a claim may cost £5k a day (and that doesn't include figures in respect of compensation).

2010-09-06T13:08:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 489: Jam

Claire writes: "I was having Greek Salad for lunch during one of our courses when a delegate asked me: So is your work thick jam or thin jam?

We began to talk and it helped me to really understand that our purpose is to meet people for a short period of time and then for them to begin to engage differently with their work or career. Thin jam.

I'm not keen on reusing questions but it has proved to be useful in many different contexts. I recently asked a Board of Trustees the jam question about their operational work. It's a great career change question when people are considering whether they wish to have a deep impact with a small group of people or a wider impact with a larger group. And if your organisation is restructuring it's a great question to reclarify your purpose within the organisation.

So what's your purpose: Thick jam or thin jam?"

Love this? If you need a thinking partner for a few conversations to help you in thinking about your organisation or your career, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-09-06T13:07:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 488: Handle with care

Su writes: "In recent days a 'media storm' has grown around a particular Facebook group supporting a man described in various quarters as a murderer and a victim of the prison service.

Few posters on this group were actually supportive of the actions of the man. In fact, what was happening on the site was that people were excited to be engaged in an online conversation which was in real time having an impact on the media. As Andrew McNeil reported to the audience of 'This Week' that the Facebook site was getting more and more interest, this was immediately commented on with pleasure by one of the posters. Whatever the moral argument for whether the site should have been created or kept live, what was happening on it was different to how it was being reported.

The media was accurate in reporting the number of supporters on the site – but the detail behind the numbers told a different story. As a result great generalisations were posited by newspapers and politicians declaring what this indicated about our “broken” society.

The quantitative data said one thing: the qualitative another. The statistics were easy to report and re-report without interaction with the data behind it – eg what was really being said. The evidence was easy, the reporting lazy. Assumptions were made and held up as fact.

As managers we have to be careful with how we deal with data when appraising our staff. Is the evidence we have reliable and valid? Does it need further investigation in order to make an assumption of what this means about our team member’s performance? It is too easy to take one piece of data about a team member and without challenging this, use it as evidence of fact.
Questions we can ask are:

•    is this one example of behaviour indicative of typical behaviour?
•    why did this happen? is there background data that needs to be investigated?

In order to be fair about the performance of members of our team, handle data with care."

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to change your approach to appraisal, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-09-06T13:06:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 487: Data Junkies

Claire writes: 'I have lost count of the number of times I have heard people talk about doing another course to get more confident or knowledgeable in a certain area. Last week I was speaking at a networking meeting where small business owners are keen to grow their networks. There I found a desire to grow networks.

Growing knowledge and networks are great ideas. And they need to be asked within the context:
What have I done with the knowledge that I have already?
What have I done with the contacts I have already?

I suspect I am a learning junkie, too. And looking at my desk now I am asking myself - what have I done with the books I've already bought! With encouragement from colleagues I am taking 3 calendar years to complete my supervision training. So far I have learned one new concept each year and taken 12 months to integrate it into my practice. That's why Coaching for Excellence is popular in organisations because it helps managers and leaders work with colleagues to help them take time to think and to apply what they already know.

Putting knowledge or networks into action will grow your competency and confidence... and only then will you know: What next?'

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is a learning junkie!

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2010-09-06T13:06:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 486: Rook's Nest

Remember that our rookie coaches still have some low-cost places if you would value space to think and reflect.

Su writes: "When I sit and work at home I often (maybe too often!) have to look up from my desk for inspiration. Out of the window I see houses opposite.

Right now, there is a rook building a nest in a chimney-pot. He – I will imagine this is a male bird although my knowledge of ornithology is not so great - has been gathering twigs. Delicately, a twig in his mouth, he disappears from view as he carefully arranges it in the chimney pot. Visible again, he gathers his thoughts, and disappears in order to find more material. Sometimes he flies at other birds, scarying them off.

My thoughts turn to the occupants of the house. Although they may hear some scratching noises travelling down the chimney, they will be otherwise unaware of the events going on above them. Yet from the outside, this is the most interesting and obvious thing about their house.

When we deal with people, they don’t see what we see. In the workplace, we take for granted that what we see, the prickly exterior or the grating over-confidence for example, is how that person is. Moreover we expect them to know that they know this about themselves. Although we all mutter together about “Sharp Sheryl” or “Booming Bob”, do they know this is how they come across? Do we know how we come across? Might it be valuable, gently and honestly, to give some clear feedback?

Next time I go past that house, I’m going to knock on their door and let them know that there’s a rook building a nest in their chimney."

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who knows they need to give feedback.

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2010-09-06T13:03:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 485: Change the question

Jane writes: "What are the most useful questions that you can ask when interviewing somebody for a role in your organisation? Recruitment interviewing - for paid staff or volunteers - is a huge responsibility. The chances are that a fair chunk of money has been invested in the recruitment process, including this day of interviewing, and you're under pressure to select the right person.

We ran a Career Makeover Masterclass a few weeks ago and were thinking about what it was like to be the job applicant at an interview. Someone commented that years ago she found that interviewers would ask hypothetical questions. Questions that started with ‘What would you do if ...?’ and ‘How would you ...?’ Now, she said, they were more likely to ask her to talk about things she had actually done rather than how she might do them. This makes lots of sense.

What do you really need to find out when you're interviewing somebody for a role in your organisation? Is it about what they would like you to think they would do, or what they can do? Your organisation may provide you with extensive guidelines around recruitment, and there is a risk that you may end up asking each candidate the same carefully prepared questions.

Instead of focusing on the questions, try focusing on the competencies that you need the role holder to demonstrate. Then ask each candidate questions that provide them with an invitation to tell you about situations they have been in where they would have needed to demonstrate these competencies. Then ask them what they did. For example, if you need them to be able to communicate confidently and effectively with a wide range of stakeholders, ask them to give you an example of when they have had to do this. Then be prepared to ask follow-up questions, such as ‘What resistance did you meet?’, ‘How did you deal with that?’ and ‘What happened?’

By asking a candidate to talk about something that they've actually done you begin to gather evidence about their competence, how they apply their skills and knowledge. This also gives you clues about their behaviour, how they work with others and the impact this has. If they are unaware about the impact of their behaviour this is also likely to be apparent. Hearing about one significant thing a candidate has done can provide you with lots of evidence. You may only need to have a few ‘prepared’ questions to get them started, allowing yourself time to ask follow-up questions that help the candidate to tell you what you really need to know.

The candidate should do most of the talking at an interview; your role is to ask a few incisive questions to ensure that what they say is relevant and useful.

What do you really need to find out? How could you change your questions?"

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to change your approach to recruitment interviewing, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-06-25T09:09:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 484: 70‑68 In the Final Set

Claire writes: "Did you, like me, watch the end of the Isner/Mahut match more than once? On Tuesday, on Wednesday several times... and again on Thursday? 183 games with each player attacking and defending in equal measure. It was an impasse.

Isn't that what happens at work sometimes? A colleague will comment or make a small criticism and the other person will defend themselves in a way that is aften received as an attack. 'I didn't mean it like that. I meant....' The dialogue continues. Except that it is not dialogue. It's an impasse. And the longer an impasse continues, the more there is to lose. It becomes a battle of egos. Isner and Mahut were each representing themselves and their country. At work, we are all mean to to be working in service of the organisation and what it is there for! And time, relationships and even money are spent in battles which are being fought and lost.

The tennis match was always going to end in win/lose. Can you imagine them agreeing they could both win?! At work, we need to take a higher view, and consider what the organisation needs. And perhaps the dialogue comes out of the question: 'How can we...?'"

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to help people have a different kind of a conversation, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-06-22T08:36:00.001+01:00

Lynn was the UKICF ambassador at the ICF European Coaching Conference last week with 600+ coaches from across Europe.

Each country was asked to take a model which represents the Art and Science of Coaching in their country in the 21st Century. Here is what Lynn made as a result of a wide consultation amongst UK members.

2010-06-18T10:41:00.000+01:00

In response to our recent comments about slowlyness:

I read this wonderfully spot on, v relevant article by 'the Bottom man' and thought a) he's reading my mind and b) this ties in so well with your 3D piece about creating space to think. After reading it, I disciplined myself not to reach for my phone to do some texting whilst waiting in an opticians the other day. I didn't do any mind blowing thinking,but i did what is v human, and that is to just 'be'.

And you wonder why i don't want an i-phone....

2010-06-18T10:05:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 483: The Hand of Clod

Jane writes: 'Whether you love football, hate it or just don't care about it, you must have heard about England's performance at the World Cup last week. Robert Green became the most talked about footballer in England - for all the wrong reasons. He made what has been described as a ‘calamitous’ error in the 40th minute of the World Cup match that left England to settle for a 1-1 draw with the USA.

Have you noticed how easy it is to focus on the negative? I see this happening all the time in organisations, and it often happens in families as well. How often do you hear people saying things like ‘he made a real mess of that’, or ‘they tried this before and it didn't work’? How differently might people feel if they heard statements like ‘that didn't go well but he had a really good idea there, and with a bit of help would be able to develop a powerful message’, or ‘we tried doing this before and it didn't work, how can we make it work this time?’

The most helpful quote I read in response to Robert's calamity was from Sandra Wheatley, a psychologist. She said ‘There is a big difference between those of us who succeed in life and those of us who don't. Those who thrive are good at coming to terms with failure and changing their behaviour.’
When we acknowledge mistakes and failures we acknowledge that we are human, and not perfect. When we focus on the future, and how we can change our behaviour so that we get different results, we feel better about ourselves and the world we live in.

This is worth remembering when you attend a job interview. Wouldn't it be useful to your prospective employer to know that you can cope with mistakes because they hear you describe how you recovered, what you learned and how you are applying this learning to new situations? This tells the story about someone who is honest, understands the impact of their behaviour, and is continually improving their performance.

Robert shouldn't feel too despondent. Brand experts have said that his future could be bright if he follows in the path of Gareth Southgate, Chris Waddle and Stuart Pearce by capitalising on his misfortune. They all missed crucial penalty goals in international tournament clashes and appeared together in a Pizza Hut advert where Southgate takes a bite of his pizza while hiding under a paper bag with holes cut out for the eyes. Anyone who has experienced a Career Makeover with will recognise this as an excellent example of recognising core skills and developing new options around them!

Who can you help to come to terms with failure and change their behaviour? How can we help you to help them?'

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to help people bring about behavioural change, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-06-14T09:02:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 482: Thinking Time

Claire writes: 'Rodin's Thinker sits in a Paris garden and ponders. To me, he is a symbol of analysis paralysis... the kind of prolonged thinking that doesn't necessarily lead to action. With the internet, analysis paralysis can be seen by the search for new information and never having quite enough to make a decision.

People think in different ways. Kolb talks about activists (who like to do), reflectors (who like to review), theorists (who like to learn) and pragmatists (who like to apply what they have learned quickly). All of us need a bit of all those processes in order to learn and develop and grow.

People need time to think. I met someone yesterday who would like to speak to his new line manager and says that he can't becaure the manager's diary is scheduled from Monday early to Friday late. Every week. Where, I wonder, does he think?

Last week I took a week, without appointments, to think. The first thing I did was download my brain and write in a notebook all the unfinished things on my mind, as well as a whole list of new ideas that began to surface. It took a couple of hours. I sat in a coffee shop. No colleagues. No laptop. No phone. If that is all I had done last week, that would have been valuable. In fact, I was then able to organise ideas, discuss them with colleagues and begin to plan a way forward.

Organisations also need time to think. Together. With the cuts needed in the public sector, there is a danger that activist decision makers will make choices without enough reflection. Speed may be of the essence, but the power of corporate thinking is vital. It's the staff and teams who will be able to make the most intelligent cuts. Not external consultants. If they are given the time to think together.

My experience is that the busier we are, the more we need time to think. The power of the human mind is incredible. But it needs space to be effective.

How do you and your organisation take your time to think?'

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to help people take time to think together, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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RSA Animate - Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us

2010-06-09T15:19:00.000+01:00

2010-06-08T11:26:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 481: My secret celebrity obsession

Su writes: I am secretly celebrity obsessed. I love it: the scandal, the outrage, the excitement. I google and find out the dirt. I am a mine of useless information about Cheryl/ Brangelina/ past and present members of Take That. Love it, love it, love it!!!

There. I’ve said it now.

You’ve made a decision about me on the basis of that statement:
1. You secretly understand and share this . You feel slightly better disposed toward me.
2. You can’t understand: this celebrity-obsessed culture is harmful and wrong. What a waste of time and energy. I must be a waste of time and energy.
3. You don’t really care either way.

When you write a CV, think about what the recipient needs to know. Do they need to know everything about you, including your celebrity-obsession, your fox-hunting hobby or the football team you support? There is a chance that this will make the recipient less well-disposed to you. However objective the short-lister or interviewer tries to be, there are some things that will rankle with them. As a result, they subconsciously start looking for more evidence to support why you aren’t right for the job.

Do they really need to know that you are interested in cooking, socialising and team sports? Is this really going to get you the job? You might assume this says good things about you – but does it tell the shortlister or interviewer anything that aids their decision on why you are right for this job? If their last Data Controller/ IT Specialist was a fly-half that had to take three months off work with a back injury they may well be less willing to give you a go. In your head, socialising means dinner parties with friends: in the future employer’s head it’s binge drinking every weekend.

Traditionally, CVs had a heading called “Hobbies and Interests”. Look at your CV. Consider removing it and instead including more evidence about your effectiveness at work. Help the future employer by giving them useful evidence on why they should offer you a job rather than appealing to their personal bias."

Love this? If you need some help in your organisation for people looking for new roles, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!

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2010-05-28T15:23:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 480: Stormy Weather Forecast

Last Monday, the UK government announced a £6 billion cut in public spending. As a result, we are a offering free place at our Career Makeover event on 5 June to anyone whose job is at risk as a result of that announcement.

Claire writes: 'The fallout from the recession is still affecting the private sector. Cuts in public funding will mean that the public sector is also in for a stormy future. How do you lead in a time of uncertainty?

We were thinking about this a few days ago and playing with the idea of swimming safely in a stormy sea:

Which waves do you choose to ride, which do you avoid?
Where is the lifeguard?
What was your lifejacket look like?
How do you learn to swim with the tide and keep safe?
Where are the most helpful channels and currents?
Who else is in the water with you? Panicking swimmers can pull others down. Sharks circle groups of people, rather than attacking them.

If you're going to be in the water for a long time, do you need a wetsuit? Or goose fat?
What you need to do now to make sure there will be a lifeguard on the beach?

You certainly can't hope that the storm isn't happening.

In the sea, you identify and draw on whatever resources are available to remain safe, and try to travel to land effectively. What resources can you identify and draw on now to remain effective in your organisation? Other people need to absorb some of the work which will need to continue post-cuts. What needs to happen to manage that in a way which honours the work, the staff, and the customer?

How rough is your sea?'

Love this? If this is the reality in your organisation and you'd like to talk about how to support staff through the transition, call us and we can meet for a coffee. It's on us!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

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2010-05-24T13:48:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 479: Apocalypse, Milk and Honey

We're just back from our annual team residential st Little Gidding and this is a great opportunity to say thank you to Jeremy Clare, Caroline Wolf and Elizabeth Turnbull who have now left the 3D core team. We'll be introducing you our new colleagues over the next few weeks.

Su writes: I did some career coaching with a friend recently. She was exceptionally honest with me and described what the jobs market was like in the banking sector. What she described was a post-apocalyptic landscape: a deserted, bleak and hostile environment. It was scary and tough, not for the faint-hearted. It was certainly not a place I would like to have spent time looking for a job. She described it absolutely, as it was to her. I worked with her, questioning her, finding out more but essentially that was it. A land of no hope.

That was her reality.

I decided we might take a different approach. We left the land of no hope and instead we did a job search. We looked for the jobs that were there – within minutes we had found several possibilities that she had the skills to do and more or less fitted her expectations. This was a very different landscape to the one we had been discussing. There were suitable vacancies, there were interesting new avenues to ponder, there were exciting potentials. To be honest, it was not a land of milk and honey, with endless opportunities to mull over and choose from. But it was different to the reality which had been described to me.

She had done job searches before: but she was doing them from her end-of-the world land. She had seen the jobs we found in our search but discounted them immediately. She had not thought about the potential that they offered: only that they wouldn’t work for her. She looked at the jobs market through post-apocalyptic eyes and saw only what she expected to see.

It is easy to build up a reality and continuously find fuel to stoke that version of events. It could be in terms of looking for a job, or tackling an issue in the workplace, or dealing with someone we find difficult. Our lands of no hope can almost become comfortable places to inhabit, and finding there is an alternative may initially be alarming.

So how to break out of that land? We need objective evidence, a mind that is open to the possibilities, and often a critical friend to walk with us. Do you?"

If this is your reality, there's still time to book on the Career Makeover Masterclass in Bletchley on 5th June.

Love this? If this is the reality in your organisation and you'd like to talk about how to support staff through the transition, call us and we can meet for a coffee. It's on us!

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2010-05-12T13:48:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 478 Finding the right story

Jane writes: "Imagine that you’ve done all the hard work needed to present a winning job application, and you’re getting ready for that all important interview. What are you thinking about? Maybe what to wear, how to get there on time, what they might ask, and what your answers could be.

Maybe you could think about the stories you will tell. Not lies, or exaggerated truths, but stories about real things you have done. When we talk about things that have meaning for us and that we own we are authentic, and this is visible to others. And as it will be the real you that goes to work for them, it makes sense to offer this to them from the start. When you offer them something else, maybe what you think they are looking for, you may end up in a job that you can’t do or a place where you don’t fit very comfortably, and either of these things can make you unhappy, or even ill.

So, how do you find your stories?

Start by looking at the information you have about the job – the job description, person specification, competency framework. Look at what you have found out about the organisation – its values, activities, contribution. What do these tell you that they are looking for? Make a list of the five or six most critical things you find. If you’re not sure what these are ask someone else to help you to identify them, or put all the information to one side and listen to yourself – you probably know.

Then ask yourself ‘What is my best evidence for each of these?’ The answers will be your stories, the things you have done that demonstrate that you have the skills and experience that they are looking for.

One of my clients identified that her interviewers would be looking for evidence that she could deal with conflict. At first she didn’t think she had a story, so we explored what conflict might look like and times when she had witnessed or experienced something that looked like this and done something about it. Start your story with a brief description of the situation. What was happening?

Then we explored what she could have done in that situation – her options. The next step was to describe what she actually did – the action she took. We followed this up by clarifying what happened next, and what the final outcome was. And that provides the structure for your stories: situation, options, action, response and result. And use lots of ‘I’, not ‘we’. This will happen comfortably when you are telling your own story.

Through this approach my client found a powerful story that she hadn’t realised she had. You may need to find several stories before you’re happy that you have one that is relevant, safe and powerful for each critical thing the interviewer may be looking for. Choose your best one for each, then practice telling them until you can tell each one with confidence in a few minutes. You don’t want to tell stories so long that the interviewer falls asleep.

And don’t forget that a job interview works both ways – you are assessing them as well. What are you going to ask them?

We’d be happy to help you find your stories, and your questions."

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who has an interview coming up.

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2010-05-10T08:56:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 477: Who speaks first?

Claire writes: "There was a rush in the UK on Friday to see who would be the first party leader to speak first after the election result produced no majority. David Cameron's team announced that he would make an announcement at 2.30. And Gordon Brown spoke first to reassure the nation that it still has leadership in the vacuum.

Who speaks first? That question is a focus for me this year in the conversations which I have. In a conversation between a manager and a member of staff, who speaks first can produce different outcomes and a different tone. In a meeting or a coaching conversation it can produce different focus. And in a mediation conversation or a negotiation, the order in which people speak also has an influence.

I was talking to a friend who is going to have their first conversation with a new manager. 'I want to do the talking first', he said: 'It's important to me that he knows what I am thinking. First.'

In the UK, who spoke to Nick first may impact politics and the economy for years to come. So might who spoke to the press before they spoke to the party.

There is no right or wrong answer as to who speaks first... but it's an important question!

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes to speak first.

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2010-05-03T10:39:00.002+01:00

Jude Trenier, who was at Spring Harvest, just sent me an interesting link from Donald Miller's blog about an alternative to a mission statement. We use a similar exercise in some Career Makeovers and this makes it even clearer. Have a look...

2010-04-30T09:17:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 476: That House

Su writes: "There’s a regular journey I take with my children. Have done it many, many times. It’s a journey that is all about getting to the destination – we’re not in it to look at the scenery. So many times, I’m on automatic and we travel along discussing school, favourite colours and what would happen if you really did have eyes in the back of your head.

Once recently, in the middle of this train of scintillating conversation, we were interrupted by one of the children: “I know we’re going the right way”, she said, “because we always pass that house”.

“That house” was very inconsequential: a bland, beige, functional box of a house which did not demand or desire any attention. I can honestly say I have never properly looked at that house before, although I have gone past it so many times over so many years. And every journey since then, I have noticed the house. I now know the colour of the curtains, I notice when the hedge has been cut and I wonder about the inhabitants. Something which was very part of the background has been pulled into the foreground, by a chance comment that was made.

In our standard work activities, we often have to go through the process: enter into the same room with the same people for the same regular meeting. As we’re on autopilot, we are not aware of how we’re going about doing this: it could well be that we’re continuously making the same mistakes or not identifying the things we’re good at. At the next meeting you’re at, why don’t you bring some of this into the foreground? Make your team aware of what’s happening at the side of the conversation, on the parameters of the journey. Without judgement or agenda: “Lisa is being talked over”; “we avoid discussing the figures”; “our action planning makes all the difference”.

It’s important that our meetings are focussed on achieving their outcomes efficiently. By noticing what is happening along the way, we give ourselves the opportunity to understand, reflect on and even enjoy the process of getting there.

Have a look around for "that house""

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who would value taking in the scenery.

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2010-04-26T10:12:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 475: The Art of Slowlyness 1

Claire writes: “I've been posting a few comments on Twitter about the art of slowlyness which have received some good feedback so I thought I would share them with you. Having spent six days at Spring Harvest where it was good to meet some of you, I have enjoyed sitting and mulling in the few days since I returned. Those trapped by volcanic ash seem to have taken two very different approaches to the chaos. Those with schedules and responsibilities have been desperately trying to find a way home. My parents did a 4 day rescue mission to the Spanish border to fetch my brother and his wife. Others who have less of a pressing agenda are sitting it out and enjoying a slower pace. I spoke to a colleague who thinks his Dad will be the last Brit home as he is enjoying the slow waiting pace so much!

Reflective thinkers seem to find it easy to make space in a busy schedule to think. Activists find it much more difficult because there is always something to be done. Different solutions fit different people, although I recognise in myself that my brand-new solution will only work for a season, although it will probably come back and be fit for purpose sometime in the future. I was reminded recently of an extrovert who wanted some thinking time. The thought of going on a quiet day or even a quiet hour was too much for him. Their solution was to take a few days out, and frequent the coffee shops of the nearby city. They were alone which gave them time to think, but in company and in the hustle and bustle of the city. It worked.

My thinking space is the Starbucks at our local motorway service station. I don’t meet anyone I know, I have my favourite seat and it gives me productive time to think. It doesn’t take long to download and get some clarity about what’s going on, what’s important, and what can be left.

Where do you practice the art of slowlyness?

We’d love to hear your ideas on this. Email info@3dcoaching.com to tell us how you practice the art of slowlyness.

Try it!

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who needs to slow down.

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2010-04-01T08:42:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 474: Right Side Up

We often get emails and calls from people years after they have been in contact with us. Here's one story:

"New Years’ day and we woke to the worst possible news. My husband’s job was made redundant! In December I lost my job due to company relocation. Then my husband’s mother died. Great start to 2009!

Both in our early 60’s, deep recession and no job prospects, we were on our own. Friends suggested we offer our services as landscape gardeners which helped with the finances. Our first job won an award for Best Pub Garden. We knew this wouldn’t be enough to live on full time so we had to cash in a small pension and cancel EVERYTHING that wasn’t a necessity.

It was when we were in France restoring a friend’s garden - free lodging in exchange for our labour, I just happened to say out loud “If only someone could see us and what we are doing, maybe we could work abroad”. Ten days later a friend rang to say she knew of someone looking for house-sitters, animal guardians and groundsmen, were we interested? So we thought (not for long I might add) and went for it. Of course, playing it safe we could have stayed home, looked for jobs offering a meagre wage but very little satisfaction. What’s the dilemma? No income here or No income there? Besides, who gets to live in a Chateau every day of their lives??

We’ve been living in the Bordeaux region since January and will return to the UK in July, with the possibility of another house sit in the area for next year.

Having gone from fairly exotic careers, travelling the world on good money with all the trimmings, we now live hand to mouth in France. Our world revolves around getting up early to walk two large dogs, feed a donkey and chickens, plus gardening duties in a totally rural existence. Had we known what that involved would we have taken the chance? Sometimes you have to step outside the box and take the positives from such an experience.

We are having the adventure of a lifetime, have gained a whole new circle of friends, marginally improved my French and are VERY happy living a French way of life.

Sometimes when your world seems as though it’s been tipped upside down, you can land the right side up. Next stop Italy???"

Try it!

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who needs some hope.

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2010-04-01T08:21:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 471: Seven Years On

Claire writes: "I had coffee last week with John who I had met for a ten minute conversation in 2003 after his job had been made redundant. He wanted to talk then about career change and finding the right fit... or at that stage, any fit. We've exchanged occasional emails and this was an opportunity to talk more.

He was hardly recognisable. The diminished and downtrodden man has transfomed into someone who, two jobs on, is confident and has begun to use skills he didn't know he had. It was a privilege to catch up on some of the missing parts of the story. Seven years ago he had no idea this kind of job existed and he has found something which is for him, truly vocational, working in a public sector organisation and having influence internationally.

For John, what had been important was being clear about skills that would make money and being willing to take a job which used them and provided for his family. And he held the vision. It was the second job which has harnessed his talents and passions.

Are you clear about what your skills are - and what are strengths and what are passions? Is your job harnessing these?'

If you want to explore these more, we are running a one day Masterclass on 5th June in Bletchley for anyone looking at beginning their career, or changing career. It will be a chance to gain clarity around what your vocational job might look like and how to begin to look for it. We've run similar events at One Life and Spring Harvest and this is a chance to invest in yourself for a whole day."

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is feeling diminished and downtrodden.

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2010-04-01T08:03:00.002+01:00

3D Juggling 472: Digital Danger?

Jeremy writes: "I saw a chilling powerpoint slide at a well-respected business school yesterday. Divided into four quarters, it displayed the 20 or 25 different types of communication technology available in modern life and business today and allocated them to quartiles according to their suitability for various functional requirements.

All the things we use were there (emails, mobiles, texts, social networking, tele-conferencing etc), plus several I had never heard of! There were many additional web-based ones, some only appropriate to international corporate life. It made an impressive, colourful and complex display which took several minutes to absorb!

So why was it chilling? Because the simplest and most direct communication medium was nowhere on the slide. The possibility of a face to face conversation was absent. Even the “resolution of conflict” section didn’t include it.

You might argue that it was obviously meant to be assumed as an alternative... and that then becomes an issue we must face. The danger nowadays is that we categorise a personal conversation as a luxury, the medium of last resort and not the first.

The original slide was about making good choices of technology, and that is fine. However, there is a “use it or lose it” dimension to replacing simple, straight conversations with electronic alternatives. If we choose, through cultural or peer pressure, or convenience, or even fear, to habitually choose to exchange digital messages rather than facing people to both listen and talk, it could all become very addictive, and the choice element might oh-so-gradually disappear!

If there are really important conversations you need to have, or difficult messages you need to pass to the real people with whom you live and work, don’t rule out the face to face option without careful consideration.

If you lack confidence in this arena, why not talk to 3D about Coaching for Excellence or other appropriate and helpful interventions?

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is totally techie.

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2010-04-01T07:38:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 471: Listen!

Claire writes: 'Did you know that SILENT and LISTEN contain the same letters...

Try it!

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes to talk!

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2010-03-17T17:09:00.001Z

3D Juggling 470: Lessons from my iPhone

Liz writes: "Whilst standing on a cold station platform waiting for a train to Leeds this week I noticed that the “slide to unlock” function on my iPhone won’t work if I’m wearing gloves.

Being the sort of reflective person I am I started wondering what message this might have for our business?

My phone wanted a personal touch, not a gloved approach and I reflected on how important being yourself is in coaching. Being transparent, saying what you see and tailoring your approach to the coachee is, I suggest, a powerful way to unlock potential.

Often what’s needed in coaching is a space for people to unlock their thinking and the best way I’ve found to do this is to really, really listen. Not so that I can ask the next clever question, not even so I can fully understand, but so that the coachee can believe that I am there for them, that I believe in them and that I trust they have the ability to find their way through the maze of their issue if I just let them.

When trying to unlock new business, a personal touch is also very effective. Rather than sending blanket emails I find it more effective, and enjoyable, to meet with people face to face, spend time talking to them about their challenges and discussing how I might be able to help. Working out how I can meet their needs rather than seeing where they fit into my offers.

So what are you trying to unlock at the moment and how might a personal touch work?"

Liz's blog is http://insightwithliz.blogspot.com

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who loves their phone!

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2010-03-15T09:36:00.000Z

3D Juggling 469: Eiffel Tower

Claire writes: 'At half term, Ellie and I got totally lost looking for the Picasso Museum in Paris. It turned out to be closed for 2 years. The back streets of Paris are complicated to navigate with only a very scanty tourist map. Road signs, crowds and traffic make it hard to see where you're going. What should have been a 5 minute walk to the museum turned into a fruitless 30 minute trek where we both lost energy and hope!

What we really needed was to be able to rise above the streets and look down through the crowds to work out where we were going. She persuaded me to go up to Level 2 of the Eiffel Tower in the lift. You get to rise above the streets, but you have no control of how fast you go, and for someone who is terrified of heights it means that I still had no perspective. I just had my eyes closed!

Later we climbed the steps to the top of the Arc de Triomphe. For a moment I was willing to look at the panorama below. And it felt much better to have control of when to go up and when to go down, as well as what speed we went. Had I been less scared, we could have spent a long time up there working out what we could see.

For a holiday, these were expensive outings given that I wouldn't look when I got to the top! And I have to confess that I only agreed to the Eiffel Tower because I knew I could tell you! The point? There are several ways to get a different perspective at work. One is when you feel that you have no control and that at best you're in a lift that someone else is controlling. At worst you might feel that work is controlled from somewhere else and that you have no idea which way it will go next. My experience is that the lift produces as much fear as elation, and you're often not still for long enough to fully understand what you see. You're more likely to be wondering when the next lurch will come from.

Another way to get a different perspective is where you choose to rise above the day to day problems and business and take a strategic view of the workplace for a while. It's more like a climb up the Arc de Triomphe. What can you see? What looks different? Who are the stakeholders now?

Even when work may sometimes feel out of control, you can even choose to rise above the rollercoaster and see what's happening there. It just takes some clear time. And perspective.

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who feels that work is a rollercoaster.

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2010-03-05T13:18:00.002Z

3D Juggling 468: Hole in The Wall

There's still a space on Wednesday's Action Learning Set Facilitator Training Course in London. Call us today on 01462 483798 if you'd like to come. Happy to negotiate on price.

Claire writes: "I was with a group last week talking about finding the right fit job. Too often, I think, we imagine that a new job needs to be either the perfect fit or simply OK because at the moment any job will do.

It may be that finding a job that pays the bills is enough. But if you're going to find a role which can be an opportunity to use your strengths and passions and get paid for it, you may need to find a better fit. Once you've done some work to identify your skills and begun to explore which you are good at, which you are passionate about, and more importantly which are both, then it's time to find what might fit.

So how do we find out what will fit? Remember that the job doesn't have to be an exact fit - in fact that would mean there was no room for you to grow and develop. Your next job needs to be a good enough fit. It's rather like Hole in The Wall, the BBC entertainment show (if you're interested!). when the teams have to move to fit the shape of the hole coming at speed towards them. If they don't adapt to fit through the hole, they get knocked into a swimming pool. If they have to adapt too much, I imagine that it's both painful and unsustainable. On the show, you would not want to have to put your left leg by your right ear to fit. The same is true with a job!

So what is a good enought fit, for you?"

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is trying to find the right fit.

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2010-02-26T12:57:00.000Z

3D Juggling 467: Avatar insights - " I see you"

Jane writes: 'If you have seen the film Avatar you may recognise this statement. It's what the Na’vi say when they greet each other. “I see you” is an acknowledgement of the other person, recognition that they are part of a bigger whole – something that they are only a part of and to which everything is connected. A bit like The Force in Star Wars, although the Na’vi call it Eywa.

“I see you” is empathy. It acknowledges the other as one like you. The ‘I’ and the ‘You’ are the same – parts of a bigger whole. This awareness makes the individual recognise their place in the world. It makes her humble, and it makes her care for the world around her.

I recently read some notes that I made while attending a course about supervising in teams and organisations, and noticed a parallel between “I see you” and the supervision of coaches. Here are some of things I had noted:

• It’s all there – you just need to see it
• We can tap into more than we think we know
• We reveal ourselves to ourselves through other’s eyes
• Get out of your own way

All of these insights acknowledge that we do nothing in isolation, that every decision we take to act or not to act, and how to act, is influenced by where we are, how we came to be there and what is going on around us. The way that we are connected, through experience, knowledge and beliefs to those we seek to support impacts on what we do. Being aware of this is critical for the coach, and the supervisor has a responsibility to help the coach to “see” this.

A series of questions that I sometimes ask when supervising a coach is ‘What did you nearly do, what would have happened if you’d done it, why didn’t you?’ These questions can help the coach to “see” themselves more clearly – their preferences, blockages, habits and impact. By seeing themselves more clearly, and recognising the wider systems within which their actions impact, and within which their clients are working, coaches can become more confident and effective in their craft.

Others can see things for us that we cannot see for ourselves.

What difference could supervision make to the quality and impact of coaching in your organisation?'

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is responsible for coaching in an organisation.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-02-22T13:07:00.000Z

3D Juggling 466: How many ducks are there in your row?

Claire writes: "When you buy a house, although you make many different choices, on the morning of the move, you can't get through the new front door unless all the money is in the right place, the right paperwork has been signed and the right people have the keys. By then there have been surveys and mortgage applications, estimates and guesstimates. In house moving all your ducks need to be lined up in a row or the sale falls through.

If only life was like that in the world of career development. Our experience is that people are reluctant to make a move because all their ducks aren't lined up. And that causes inertia. Suddenly: 'I'd like to retrain' becomes 'I'd like to retrain but then will I get a job and will I have to move and...?' Whereas with a house move, it's all or nothing, with a career move you will always have to take a risk.

Think about variables eg location, time, financial security, employability, plan B:
What things REALLY need to be fixed?
What are flexible/ mobile/transferable?
You will never get all your ducks lined up in a row! How many is enough? Probably more than one... and less than all!

So if you're in inertia, how many ducks are there in your row?

PS Where does this come from? Some people say the ducks in a row comes from funfair games.

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who needs to take a risk

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-02-12T14:51:00.001Z

3D Juggling 465: Why don’t they listen?

Jane writes: "I have a collection of postcards that I often use when working with groups. I invite group members to rummage through them and find one or two that they can use to help them describe something -maybe how it feels for them to be in their team, or what they want to achieve by the end of our time together. Out of all my postcards there are a few that almost always get selected. One of them shows a child holding the face of her mother in her hands to gain her attention and saying ‘Listen!’.

People use this picture to help them explain how they feel when no-one hears them, or when an organisation is unwilling to hear about issues that an individual or team believe are really important. Sometimes when an individual feels that they are not being heard it may be because they don’t know how to say what they need to say, and sometimes it may be that their target is not able to hear what they’re saying.

There are two things for us to take responsibility for here:
• working out what we need as a result of communicating (‘What is my desired outcome?’) so that we can work out what we need to say
• paying attention to others when they try to tell us something and checking that the message we received was the one they intended us to receive

What difference would that make in your workplace?

Because it can be difficult to do both of these things we offer a tool that helps individuals and teams to understand why they find it more difficult to be heard by some people or groups than others, and what they can do about it. We also use this tool to explore why we find some people harder to listen to than others, and how to help those people to help us to hear them.

We have used this tool to help people to raise difficult issues safely, building relationships where there was a fear that relationships might be harmed. We have used it to help team members resolve conflicts, enabling the team to work effectively so that it can regain credibility with its customers. We have used it to help teams’ present issues to senior managers with the needs of those managers so clear to them that their message, although challenging, was welcomed.

How could this tool help you?"

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who says listen or who you would like to listen!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2010-02-05T13:27:00.002Z

3D Juggling 464: Oh... something!

Claire writes: "As a manager or a leader, how often do you think "Oh no... Oh Help... Oh dear... " when someone brings a tricky situation to you in a one to one? And do you ever jump into the situation with them in an attempt to help them solve the problem?

I was observing two people working together in a training situation this last week and the manager had clearly begun to notice a number of issues arising from the story which his colleague had brought to him. During the conversation they tried to work together to solve the problem. he dropped in some great insights but they got drowned in the noise of the solutions that were flying about. When we did the feedback afterwards, I invited him to identify the issues. He had noticed more than six - they were about stakeholders and organisational culture and assumptions. Taking a heliciopter view totally changes the way in which we view a so-called problem. And when managers and peers can do this with their teams it can transform what's going on in that situation at work. Of course when we don't take a helicopter view, we risk jumping into the problem in an attempt to solve it. And that can often feel like a whirlpool or a vortex with no way out.

Solutions are far more effective when they address the real situation and not the presenting problem. What's great about taking a helicopter view, is that you don't need to have identified all the issues. Once you can encourage the person you are talking with to join you in looking from a new perspective, they can see them too! So next time you can hear your mind saying "Oh no... Oh Help... Oh dear... " try inviting your colleague to take a step back and look at the whole situation from a different perspective.

PS After the feedback someone asked - how hight can you take someone with this. The answer is as high as is useful to them. I have worked with people who have looked down from several levels and had new insights.

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who gets stuck in the vortex.

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© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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2010-01-29T12:48:00.000Z

3D Juggling 463: Customer Service

Claire writes: 'Why is it that I have just received the best customer service ever from the doctor's receptionist? And I'm still annoyed? I had to book a blood test this week and went to the counter to book an appointment. The first response was: 'You'll have to wait for two weeks.' When I asked whether there was anything I could do to speed that up, I was told: 'You could go to the hospital and queue.' I think I must have pulled an 'Oh, no' face. Then the receptionist said: 'Or you could go to the cottage hospital in 2 days time. They have an appointment at 2.33pm and I can book you in now.'

At work - and at home - we only get one go at having a conversation well. If we don't communicate well, then we begin the next one with a level of negativity on both sides. That lady gave me what I wanted and more. But after two interventions which I received as negative and unhelpful I am still left knowing she was excellent. And feeling that she was grumpy.

That's why we advocate real play - when you have the conversation you need to have with a colleague or a customer out loud. In advance. Then you can listen to how it will be received and change or modify what you will say. Because live on the day, you only get one go. Had she given me choices from the outset, I could be telling you how great that receptionist was. But I am still left with the impression that she was grumpy.'

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who would benefit from real play.

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© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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2010-01-28T13:14:00.001Z

3D Juggling 462:Running Stapling Clematises and Planned Neglect

At last we have put the final 3D Jugglings up on the website and made our 3D Toolbox which is full of resources and ideas even easier to use. Over the last ten years, we have told many stories in a bid to share ideas, insights and questions to support you manage work well and still have a life. So once a month we will be sharing highlights from the archives.

There have been a fair few 3D Jugglings about Time Management including ideas about stapled weeks, clematises and planned neglect. One that people remember well is Graham's advice 'Don't run too early'. Read more from the Time Management toolbox

3D Juggling 375: Don't Run Too Early

Claire writes: 'Try the 400m on the Olympics on the Nintendo Wii, and you can fail to finish if you don't take enough breath at the beginning. For the last week, the papers have been full of tips to marathon runners about how to last the full 26 miles. I was co-facilitating a couple of weeks ago with a man who used to be a professional footballer. As we dashed around the room with a microphone listening to people's comments, I commented that I seemed to always be the one running to the back of the room! "Ah", said Graham, "that's because I learned in football never to run too early!"

Graham ran the Barcelona marathon last month. He told me that they timed every mile to make sure that they got to the finish. Quick starts in marathons are impressive, but only if they can be sustained to the finishing line!

Enthusiasm for a new project or a new job can make us want to get off to a running start. But if we want to be able to manage our energy and to be able to complete well, 'Don't run too early' is good advice. "

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who runs out of steam before the end of the game.

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© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
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2010-01-28T13:13:00.001Z

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

2010-01-18T15:55:00.001Z

3D Juggling 461: Invisible orchids

If you enjoy what you read in 3D Juggling, do pass it on to colleagues or put a link to our website from yours. All we ask is that you retain contact details. This week's Juggling can be found in the library

There is one final space on Thursday's Action Learning Set Facilitator Training in London. Make us an offer if you'd like to come by calling Sue on 0845 458 0154.

Claire writes: 'The orchid we were given as an office warming present lost its flowers after a few weeks and has sat sadly on the window ledge for months looking decidedly dead. I trust that one or other of us has watered it from time to time. I have also considered consigning it to the bin. After all, what does a dead flower say about an organisation!

This morning I was listening to a client celebrate some significant changes in the culture of her organisation. It was great to hear as I can remember many conversations which were less positive. As a senior manager, she has influenced in many quiet ways and was taking stock of the changes. Others have noticed a shift in culture and are unaware that it came from her. Like the orchid, the organisation hasn't been dramatically pruned or heavily watered. Quiet patience and a nudge here and there have taken it to the point where change is clearly visible. I moved a stake on the orchid this morning so that it can manage the weight of its new flowers. That will be our celebration of a living flower! My client has plans to celebrate what she has done in her team.

Some leaders are visible. Some leave a legacy that survives them. Some have done drastic pruning and some have elegant leaving dos when they move on but a year on, little of their legacy is left. Often it's the invisible influencers who leave the biggest impact because the team say 'We have done it ourselves'. The challenge, of course, is how to communicate that on your CV!"

Want to know more? Contact info@3dcoaching.com

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who you believe to be an invisible influencer.

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© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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Coming Soon:
21st January Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London

2010-01-11T10:01:00.001Z

3D Juggling 460: Personality clash?

Hope you're managing to keep warm! Claire's book 'Friends First' went into its second edition last week. If you have young teenagers, have a look. It's available from Tesco online

Jane writes: "Have you ever heard someone say when describing a problem between two people, ‘It’s a personality clash’? And have you noticed how this is left hanging in the air as if to say ‘That’s it, I’ve tried everything and there’s nothing that can be done to help’? Except of course that managers and organisations do try to ‘help’ – often when faced with claims of bullying or harassment or long term stress related absence. And that help often leads to more stress for the individuals concerned and their colleagues, and sometimes to formal grievances, disciplinary cases, and maybe people being moved or even leaving an organisation (along with all their knowledge and skills). And all of this takes up a lot of time, and time costs money.

So how can we help safely and sooner to minimise the impact of ‘personality clashes’ on individuals and teams?

We use DiSC profiling as a tool to help people better understand their communication preferences, the impact these can have, related benefits and challenges, and how they can adapt when working with others to minimise conflict and maximise their effectiveness. DiSC provides simple, safe language that can be used to talk about difference and help people to state their needs with respect for those of others. We have found that this really helps people who couldn’t talk to each other to have productive conversations, which in turn lead to productive working relationships. How much could this save your organisation? Who do you know who might benefit from using DiSC?

Want to know more? Contact info@3dcoaching.com

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who has a personality clash in their team.

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© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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Coming Soon:
21st January Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

2010-01-04T12:55:00.000Z

3D Juggling 459: Wrapping Paper

Happy New Year to you. We’re all back from various adventures over Christmas and looking forward to working with you in 2010. First stop is to set new dates for Coaching for Excellence. We have found a venue and will let you know dates asap.

Lynn writes: “As soon as I finished the Christmas wrapping for another year, I wondered: Why do you never have the correct size paper left over? Is it just me who cuts the paper the wrong size even after measuring it? And what about all those presents that are really awkward shapes and take a degree in mechanics to work out how to wrap them?

I started thinking about how when you work with a group of people the “same piece of paper” will not fit all and trying to recycle the same idea and information may not always be effective. Similarly why do we approach those unusual people as awkward presents who are difficult to fit within our standard wrapping. How much more interesting are they to work with and when you find a way to wrap them they look so much more interesting under the tree. So in 2010 I am going to expand my wrapping skills and try patching and cutting non-rectangular paper. Perhaps I will even see what happens if I don’t wrap the presents at all… I hope this will help me better celebrate the difference within those I meet and with whom I work.”

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who sends interesting gifts.

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© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-12-18T09:55:00.001Z

3D Juggling 458: Waste Time Well

A very Happy Christmas to you from all the 3D team. The office is closed now until Monday 4th January and we look forward to catching up with you on our return.

Claire writes: 'Most of us will have time off over Christmas. After all the preparations and the rush to clear your work before the holiday, how will you spend your time? Are you scheduled out with family commitments or shifts to cover? Or do you have time to choose? Our Christmas present to you is to ask you to spend some time doing nothing well. It's easy to spend all holiday thinking: 'In a minute I ought to...', to potter and then to end up unsure of what we've done with a sense of having achieved nothing.

Consider the question: If I was to waste time today and feel great about it afterwards, what would I do? It may be choosing to potter and to have no sense of guilt. It may be to choose to spend all day in your pyjamas or to watch back to back Christmas films. Or to sit and stare at a view or read a book.

Whether you choose to waste an hour, a day or even a week, what will you do to waste time well?

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who needs permission to waste time.

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© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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2009-12-10T14:38:00.001Z

3D Juggling 459: TK Maxx

Claire writes: 'I have resorted to internet shopping this year, simply as a time saver. I knew half of what I was going to buy for Mike but it was an interesting experience when I was looking for his other present. In the end I resorted to coming up with a half good idea and then searching on Amazon. Undoubtedly a better fitting and more exciting gift would have resulted from a day milling round the shops.

The internet may be the saviour of Christmas shopping, but it can severely hamper our job search. Unless you are looking for exactly the same job in a similar sector, be careful of job search sites which try and box you. If I had gone to TK Maxx for Mike I would have had no idea what I was looking for. But I would have found something great by searching through every rail. And I'd have known what it was when I found it. So if you're looking for a new job, start by going window shopping with a department store mentality. Wander round and look everywhere. Make a list of ideas as you go. Because even Sock Shop or Wine Rack would constrain you.

And if you're interested in doing that with one of us, call us about a Career Makeover.

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is being restricted by internet searching.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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Coming Soon:
21st January Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

2009-12-07T10:36:00.001Z

3D Juggling 456: Fairy tales?

Jane writes: "Once upon a time there was a tyrannical boss who made all they came into contact with shiver and shake with fear and frustration. They ruled their empire harshly, banishing anyone who challenged their authority....

Once upon a time there was a confused team. Generally it was happy and effective, but every now and then things went wrong. This tended to happen whenever the team agreed to do something new. An experienced member of the team, who was very knowledgeable and did many things well, would complain about it and undermine the good intentions of her colleagues. The other team members didn’t know how to stop her and were waiting for a knight in shining armour to come along and put things right for them....

A recent article in People Management magazine discussed the benefits of using fairy story metaphors to describe unacceptable behaviour – powerful but maybe not comfortable for everyone.

We find that the DiSC profiling tool offers safe language that can be used to discuss difficult people issues, and to develop helpful responses. DiSC provides 15 classic profile patterns, one of which will fit an individual better than others, while recognising that they are unique. Learning how my profile is different, or similar, to yours can help me to understand why we impact on each other in the way we do – and how we could choose to adapt our behaviour when this would help to make our interactions more successful. Successful could mean less stressful, quieter, that long standing issues are addressed, or just that we enjoy them more.

Do you have a fairy tale that needs happy ending? Ask us how DiSC could help you to write it.

(See p.42 of People Management, the magazine of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development, 19 November 2009)

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
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21st January Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

2009-11-26T14:03:00.001Z

3D Juggling 451: Driving On The Motorway

Claire writes: 'A friend is having panic attacks when he drives on the motorway and we were talking about how he can resolve it. He has tried loads of therapeutic solutions including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Hypnotherapy. Although it has increased his confidence in the room, it's not made a significant different when he's in the car and drives past the blue motorway signs. 'What I really need', he said, is 'driving lessons... but I passed my test a long time ago.'

What he realises he needs is a driving instructor who will go with him, in his car, on the motorway. It's not what the instructor will expect when they receive the phone call. But it's good news for my friend and the instructor. To get that he needs to clearly state what he needs. In organisations that's called coaching up. If he's not clear, he'll get the instructor's solution and could end up doing three point turns with the teenagers!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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Coming Soon:

21st January Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

2009-11-20T09:27:00.001Z

3D Juggling 454: X Factor

We're about to set dates for Coaching for Excellence in 2010. Do let us know if you're interested in finding out more. Whether you're a beginner or experienced, it's a great way to improve your coaching. Simply and effectively.

Claire writes: 'The X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing on UK TV every weekend have caused more furore this year than ever before. What is talent? Why do the untalented go through and the more talented get voted off by the public? Who are Jedward anyway... you can tell I'm a Strictly fan!

Whatever the talent shows suggest, talent is more than being good at something. I think that to grow our talents we need to be both good at them and passionate about them. We meet plenty of people every week who are good at their jobs - but it doesn't fit them any more because there is simply no passion there. So where are the organisations who will pay us to use our talents? It may be time to start window shopping http://www.3dcoaching.com/php/news.php?id=336&item= . And if an organisation will only pay you to do things which you're good at, and not passionate about, where else can you use your talents? George Lucas said: "Everybody has talent, it's just a matter of moving around until you've discovered what it is." So if you're not sure, start moving - even if that's into using skills in a slightly different way at work, asking your manager if you can get some different experience, or testing out some volunteer work.

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who needs to start moving

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© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
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2009-11-14T11:45:00.001Z

3D Juggling 453: Team not talking to you?

Jane writes: 'When running a series of Communication workshops Lynn and I came across a manager who was frustrated by the fact that, however hard she tried, she could not get her team members to speak up at team meetings. She was convinced that they had useful things to say – things they were saying at other times to other people – things that could help the team to develop and become more effective. What was the problem?

By exploring with this manager how she preferred to communicate (and be communicated with) she was able to acknowledge that her approach at team meetings was linked to her preferences – direct, in the moment and expectant of an immediate response. She also recognised that the preferences of some of her ‘reluctant’ team members were different – they needed time to think about and prepare a response, to be sure of facts before speaking, and acknowledgement of the impact that any changes would have on how people worked together.

With this in mind the manager adapted her approach to her team meetings by sharing an agenda before each meeting so that team members could prepare their thoughts. When she needed to reduce break times and ensure that mobile phones were not used in the workplace she acknowledged that her team members would have concerns about keeping in contact with family and friends, and about their rights. This enabled her to communicate with them in way that enabled the changes to work with agreement. The longer term result - many more contributions, great ideas and a more effective team!

We used DiSC profiling to help explore communication preferences with this manager. Contact us to find out more about DiSC and how it can support team building, conflict resolution, recruitment, and appraisals. DiSC was also featured in the Health Service Journal 26 October 2009.'

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone whose team is not talking to them

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© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
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Coming Soon:
25th November Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - Hull
21st January Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

2009-11-06T14:51:00.000Z

3D Juggling 452: Grafham Water

Jane writes: 'A couple weeks age I spent some time sitting on the grass at Grafham Water. It was a clear, bright, late summer afternoon and the air was eerily still. So still that even though I was only a few meters from a road there was no road noise, totally blocked by the trees. The water was as still and reflective as glass. Sitting there was amazing. The noises on the water were so resonant and rang out so clearly into the silence. The reflections into the water were almost a perfect replica of the original. Watching a swan glide by doubled with its reflection made me really look and analyse what I was seeing.

It made me think about some of the Action learning Sets I had facilitated recently where the presenter has been able to really hear things with the same sort of clarity in their heads because of the silence held by the set. And how reflections when we have space and quiet to really make sense of them are so much more powerful.

As Eric Hoffer writer and philosopher says: ”It is not so much the example of others we imitate as the reflection of ourselves in their eyes and the echo of ourselves in their words.'

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes silence.

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© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-11-02T14:54:00.000Z

3D Juggling 451: Sore feet

There is still a space at the Hull Action Learning Set Facilitator Training day on 25th November. Email info@3dcoaching.com to find out more.

Claire writes: 'I walked my 20 miles with Tim last Monday as part of his 180 mile trek to raise money for The Severn Hospice. Do sponsor him www.justgiving.com/SHcanalotto2 I thought I was quite fit. After all, I go to the gym several times a week and my last fitness MOT said I was as fit as a 19 year old!

There were three pieces of learning.

1 The pain barrier can last hours (or days)
2 Training for an hour does not necessarily prepare you for a full day
3 Take care how you bring in a new team member

We had walked 8 miles at a steady pace before stopping at a pub to wait for Tim's son. Unfortunately the pub was hard to find and we were stopped for too long. We never fully recovered from that stop. Charlie brought enthusiasm and a faster pace which meant that we took a little while to find a pace to suit us all. The wait and the change of pace meant that we oldies found the last 3-4 miles very very hard.

Waiting too long for a new team member to come along can cripple organisations. If you're in that position at work, what can you do to keep moving forward - enough - as you wait for them to arrive so that their integration isn't painful for you, for them and for the organisation? And how do we harness the enthusisasm of a new team member whilst ensuring that the organisation is also able to fulfil it's objectives - with the whole team?

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is waiting for a new team member.

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© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
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2009-10-23T13:57:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 450: My new man

Welcome to Su Blanch, our newest team member. Su is a facilitator and trainer and has a background in HR with extensive experience in Pharma. Claire is joining Tim Skipper today for 20 miles of his canal walk from Milton Keynes to Welshampton to raise money for The Severn Hospice. If you'd like to cheer her on by sponsoring Tim, the link is http://www.justgiving.com/SHcanalotto2/

Lynn now has new man in her life. Her elder son Loren has hit 18 and if it has brought new challenges to the household.

Lynn writes “When Loren quite rightly demands to be treated as an adult, at times he is a little boy learning. We recently had a visit to the doctor's followed by organisation of an x ray and in the same day an appointment at the bank.Loren asked me to come with him on all three visits and I expected the usual routine of going in with him and leading the talking. He had other ideas. At the doctors he asked me to wait in the waiting room. The telephone call organising the x-ray had me in the room. Finally at the bank I was invited into the room and included.

Afterwards he thought I was cross with him. In fact I was confused about my role. It is right and proper that he takes control of his life but why was I at the doctors and in the room for the phone call? And having done those what was different at the bank?

Once we talked it became clear that he is in transition and that he needs to build his confidence. Thus Mum close by means he can take risks with backup, ask if he needs to, but have a go first.

How often with staff do we take their asking as a need for solution? I wonder how often people I managed would have been able to “have a go” if I had simply been close by?

Lauren taught me a valuable lesson about supporting and not solving as Jacob Bronowski, Mathematician and Biologist said: “We are all afraid for our confidence, for the future, for the world. That is the nature of the human imagination. Yet every man, every civilization, has gone forward because of its engagement with what it has set itself to do.”

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who needs simply to be close by.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-10-12T08:28:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 449: Wearing Purple

Clare Townsend is offering low cost coaching at the office in Letchworth and Lynn is offering low cost coaching supervision. Places are limited. Call us on 01462 483798 or email info@3dcoaching.com to find out more. Also Action Learning Set Facilitator Training in the north is in Hull on 25th November.

Lynn writes: 'Claire, Jane and I work very closely together. We are also good friends and Claire is my boss. Sometimes we need to receive coaching or supervision from each other. We need to be very careful to contract with each other which 'hat' we are wearing at any time during the conversation - it often changes!

The friend will say: How awful/ there there
The coach will say: Where do you want to get to in this conversation?
The manager will say: I need you to do this
and the supervisor will challenge and stretch your professional competency.

In the Jenny Jones poem 'When I am old I will wear purple' it's suggested that we try the hat on for size:
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me
are not too shocked and surprised
when suddenly I am old,
And start to wear purple!

Cut the nasty surprises out for those you talk to by both agreeing what hat you are wearing. If you're not sure, ask them!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire

Coming Soon:

24th November Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London
25th November Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - Hull
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

2009-10-02T09:20:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 447: That Monday Morning Feeling

Claire writes: "In last Saturday's Casualty on BBC1, the plot unfolded by different players telling their part of the same story. At work, how often do we tell the story for someone else through interpretation, assumption, presumption or simply for speed? The same facts can look completely different when told from different perspectives.

Last Sunday, I woke up in the night to hear Mike make a terrible noise, and saw him sit up and fall out of bed unconscious. Once I had established that he really was unconscious and not asleep, I dialled 999. Until we arrived at the hospital, he was still very incoherent and so I told the story of what I saw and heard to the ambulance crew and the medics. Once he came round and said he had cramp in his leg, it was a couple of hours while they made sure he hadn't had a stroke. All the tests were fine and home and the cool light of morning revealed a large bump on his head. Recovered from the shock of the night's events, he had remembered his side of the story. Woke up with awful cramp, sat up to stretch, fell out of bed and knocked himself out. Same facts. Different perspective. And far less serious although painful.

How can we empower people in our organisations to tell their own story?"

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire

2009-09-28T10:48:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 447: Formula 1 Team

Many congratulations to Lynn who has, this week, been awarded the Professional Certified Coach Accreditation from the ICF. We now have five accredited coaches in the team.

Lynn writes “The other day Jane and I were working on a tender together for some work in a large public sector organisation. We were trying to explain “transformational facilitation” – a way of working that can lead individuals and groups into territory that is so new they may not even have dreamed of it.

In organisations, work can be like driving a formula 1 racing car – fast and furious, exhilarating and most of the time pretty scary. You have to rely on your team at every pit stop to give you sustaining fuel and to change your tyres to those that are most appropriate for the conditions on the track.
What we do at 3D is help managers to experientially learn to drive at break neck speed if necessary and to enjoy the buzz. We work with the whole team to understand their roles at pit stops and to determine the fuel and tyres correctly. The transformational piece is when individuals and teams are able to see that they have fair weather and wet tyres and can be innovative and change or adapt these to be for oil spillage or snow. Or can look at a different formation of the tyres they already use, 2 wet at the front 2 fair at the back or perhaps diagonal placement…..!

If you look at the Brawn team they have challenged the status quo in the racing world by making adaptations to their car which are so effective people want to make them illegal as others can’t compete!

Calculated risk is what makes individuals and organisations grow as Peter Sauber (owner of the Sauber Formula 1 team) said: "It is the head and not the foot that is instrumental in any one driver's achievement. Few consider that."

Do you want to work with your team to consider how to “use their heads” in a new and innovative way – from a completely different perspective?"

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire

Coming Soon:

15th October How to Not Need Mediation - Letchworth
Managing staff without having to go through Disciplinary or Grievance
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/how_to_not_need_mediation.phtml

24th November Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London
25th November Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - Hull (NEW - only 2 spaces remaining)
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

Career Makeovers: We have some spaces for Career Makeovers in London and Milton Keynes. In two hours you will gain clarity about your change of career.
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_coaching/career/career_makeover.phtml

2009-09-21T09:43:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 446: The Moors in the morning

Welsome to all our new subscribers this week and to those who are following us on Twitter 3dclaire

Claire writes: 'Travelling over the moors into Sheffield early in the morning last week was beautiful. Crisp and bright with an azure blue sky, it was a very different experience from my last journey on that road which I have written about before. That night had been dark and wet and at the end of a long day, even with Satnav, the journey was stressful. I can now tell you that there are two junctions on the road that can take you by surprise and I am confident that I would be fine now driving in the dark up there.

Finding your way in the pitch dark is far easier when you are familar with the route in the light. That's what we do every day: Talk with individuals or groups and help them see their context in the light of day... so that when they return to their workplace they see it in a different way. You can learn to take a different perspective yourself. You may need to get away from the day to day stuff at work to do that. Think about the situation as you see it and then consider it as other people see it. If you're visual, try drawing a diagram of all the players in the story and look at the situation from each of their perspectives. If you're in a coffee shop, try using the sugar to map out what's going on! Because our level of confidence to manage difficult situations increases when we have a broader understanding of what the situation looks like.'

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who works in the dark.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire

Coming Soon:
15th October How to Not Need Mediation - LetchworthManaging staff without having to go through Disciplinary or Grievance http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/how_to_not_need_mediation.phtml
24th November Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London25th November Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - Hull (NEW - only 2 spaces remaining)http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml
Career Makeovers: We have some spaces for Career Makeovers in London and Milton Keynes. In two hours you will gain clarity about your change of career.http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_coaching/career/career_makeover.phtml

2009-09-14T10:13:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 445: Treating people right

Jane writes: 'I was working with a client recently, helping them to think about how they could respond to some feedback from staff about their experience of working in a team that she leads. We explored several options and when she had decided how to start, she said “You know, I tried to get support to do this three years ago, but my organisation bought in expensive external consultants who didn’t tell us anything that we didn’t already know. Nothing improved as a result of that”.

Later the same day I was reading an article about lessons that have been learned from previous recessions, and came across the following quote from Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric: ‘The best people move when times get better if you don’t treat them right.’
So what does ‘treating people right’ look like? One way to find out is to ask them, and that’s just what my client decided to do. Instead of relying on her interpretation of feedback from a sample of staff who completed a Staff Survey, she will give all staff opportunities to describe what being treated better would mean for them. The next step will be to engage them in taking responsibility for bringing about changes that they can achieve by adapting their behaviour, therefore influencing change in others.

When we help people to say what they need to say about things that are important to them we are treating them right. When we follow this up by helping them to bring about improvements, rather than relying on others to take action, we treat them even better.

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who leads a team.

Talk to jane@3dcoaching.com about how we can help you to treat your people right.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire

Coming Soon:
15th October How to Not Need Mediation - LetchworthManaging staff without having to go to an Employment Tribunalhttp://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/how_to_not_need_mediation.phtml

24th November Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - Londonhttp://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

Career Makeovers: We have some spaces for Career Makeovers in London and Milton Keynes. In two hours you will gain clarity about your change of career.http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_coaching/career/career_makeover.phtml

2009-09-07T09:03:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 444: Sirens

Congratulations to Liz Ford for obtaining her coaching accreditation through the Association for Coaching.

Claire writes: 'My Dad has always told me: 'There's no such thing as a free lunch'. Nevertheless, there seem to be plenty of offers around at the moment about making money in the recession. You're even supposed to be able to pay money and eliminate your debts.

'There's nothing new under the sun', says the Bible. At work or at home, there's plenty to learn from Ulysees in the current climate. He had to travel home from his adventures and was warned by Circe to watch out for Sirens. The Sirens were nymphs with the power to charm by their song all who heard them, so that mariners were impelled to throw themselves into the sea and die. Ulysses was told to fill the ears of his seamen with wax, so that they would not hear the music; to have himself tied to the mast, and to tell his people, whatever he might say or do, not to release him until they had passed the Sirens' island. Ulysses obeyed. As they approached the island, the sea was calm, and they heard music so amazing that Ulysses struggled to get loose and begged to be released. The people tied him harder and the ship held its course.
So if you're being offered the equivalent of a free lunch, where are the sirens?'

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who loves greek mythology!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Coming Soon:

16th September Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London (Only one space left)
24th November Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - Londonhttp://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

15th October How to Not Need Mediation - LetchworthManaging staff without having to go to an Employment Tribunalhttp://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/how_to_not_need_mediation.phtml

Career Makeovers: We have some spaces for Career Makeovers in London and Milton Keynes. In two hours you will gain clarity about your change of career.http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_coaching/career/career_makeover.phtml

2009-09-01T12:09:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 443: Take cover

Claire writes: 'I'm back to work after 5 weeks off when Lynn and Jane have been covering all the goings on at 3D. When other people cover, it's a great way of noticing whether or not your systems are working - does everyone know what they need to know? It's also a good test of delegation. If you've just come back from holiday, is there anything that you don't need to take back? And are there different ways you need to share information which will make things easier in the future?

Covering for others is also a great way of exploring whether or not there is appeal in a post like theirs, and a chance to stretch your skills into new areas which can really help your CV and future job applications. So if you've been covering for someone else, what can you do now that you couldn't do before? Make sure you get that down on your CV.

Apart from relief, what do you need to remember from your experience of cover over the holiday period?'

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who needs to read it!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-08-24T15:47:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 442: Integrity

Jane writes: 'What do you do if you experience a mismatch between what your organisation says is important, and what it demonstrates is important through its actions? This is a challenge faced by Non-Executive Directors (Neds), whose role is to provide an independent view of the company that is removed from the day-to-day running of the organisation. Their intention should be to help the Executive Directors to see what can be seen by others and to use new insights to review the daily operation and performance of their organisation. What can we learn from research into the role of Neds?The Higgs Review in 2003 highlighted that effective Neds question intelligently, debate constructively, challenge rigourously and listen sensitively.

Virginia Bottomley (former Conservative minister, now a headhunter for an executive search firm) states that ‘the trick is knowing how to challenge without being seen as a member of the awkward squad’. Neds can be held accountable for not challenging the decisions, directions, plans and appointments of the executive group. What are you held accountable for? How do you help yourself and others to challenge with integrity, demonstrating your intention of achieving improvements?

3D Coaching can help you to have powerful and transformational conversations, email us info@3dcoaching.com

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is struggling with a non-exec role.Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-08-18T13:34:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 441: Suspend Judgement

Claire writes: 'The majority of my holiday has been spent decorating now that the builders have left our house. The dilemma is always to be neutral - or brave. We decided to paint two of the kitchen walls teal - a dark bluey green: and then spent several days wondering whether the ideas was crazy. The only way to find out was to try. The tester pot wasn't much help so we invested the money and bought a can of paint and put it on. Only after the second coat has it proved to be a brilliant idea. If we'd said 'too dark' 'too blue' 'not kitcheny enough' at the beginning, we would be living in a magnolia kitchen! We had to suspend judgement while we looked at different ideas.

When people go window shopping for new career ideas, or take time with colleagues to generate new ideas at work, it's all too easy to come up with an idea and the reason why we can't/ shoudn't/ won't do it in the same breath. Until we suspend judgement we end up with magnolia answers. Generating ideas first and then analysing answers later can maintain and develop our creativity - and hence possibility. 'We would like to paint the kitchen teal but it might be too dark' turned into ' we would like to... and if it's too dark we will paint it again'

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is too attached to magnolia.

Find out more about our new course: How to not need mediation http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/how_to_not_need_mediation.phtml

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-08-09T18:41:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 440: Destinations

Claire writes: 'On our holiday last week with only 20m visibility in the Dorset fog, we had to hold on to the hope that we would end up in Dorchester. And we did! I had been reading 'Woman on the Edge of a Nervous Breakdown' a hysterical novel by Guardian journalist Lorna Martin. The lead character says "If you don't have a destination, you can never fail to get there, but you will end up drifting along forever."

Look around, and those who know what they are working for tend to be much happier and more fulfilled at work than those who don't. Purpose is really important. In his book 'Path to Purpose', academic Patrick Damon's research supports this. He expands to say that purpose also needs to include other people. Which is what Aristotle said all along: where your talents and the needs of the world collide, there lies your vocation.

Where is yours? Or are you still in the fog?

If you would like to talk to someone to help explore what your purpose might be, do email us info@3dcoaching.com

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who is looking for a purpose.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-07-20T18:12:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 438: It's not what you know

In the autumn, we will be launching two supervision groups for coaches who wish to develop in the art of coaching. For managers using coaching in organisations and for independent coaches, these will be each be facilitated by two of our trained coaching supervisors. One group will meet at our office in North Herfordshire. The other at a venue to be decided by you... let us know if you'd like to join either group by emailing info@3dcoaching.com

We're also delighted to let you know that the first course: How to Not Need Mediation will be held on 15th October in response to huge demand from managers eager to improve communication in their teams. More details on the website.

Claire writes: "Graduates are finding it increasingly hard to enter the work place and there are 70+ applicants for every job. Having the knowledge is no longer enough. What else can you do to increase your chances of at least getting an interview? One way is through volunteering strategically. Where would you really like to work? Go and talk to them and offer to work as a volunteer for, say, 3 months in exchange for a reference. It won't get you there straight away, but it's a start..."

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who has a gap on their CV.

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-07-13T12:10:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 437: Spinning Coffee

Jane writes: "I was working round my kitchen table a few days ago with Claire and Lynn. Two of us were reflecting on a business meeting from which we had just returned, and between us we were working on two documents that had to be completed that day that may give 3D access to some new clients. We were running on all motors.

It was a hot day and time for another drink. Claire asked if I had any ‘real’ coffee. Lynn laughed, because what Claire didn’t know was that what works for her (caffeine) doesn’t work for me. Lynn was remembering the time when I drank a glass of coca cola and a coffee in a restuarant one Wednesday evening (both drinks I never usually touch) and then spent the night awake and couldn’t function at all the next day! Claire had to make do with a cup of tea.
On reflection, maybe what works for Claire could work for me - if I put my own spin on it. A small bar of chocolate maybe...

As a coach I avoid telling my clients what I would do in their situation – even if they ask me. What I am willing to do if they get stuck is offer them a suggestion, which they can dismiss or ‘spin’ until it makes sense in their world.

When did you last set someone spinning?"

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who doesn't like caffeine!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-07-06T10:18:00.000+01:00

3D Juggling 436: Hold your nerve

Claire writes: 'The broken foot is now healed, but the memory of 2 weeks in a Butlin's mobility scooter is still firmly alive. The first evening we were there I was trying to get back to my accommodation at 10.30pm after a long day's work and finding going up and down pavements a challenge to my driving! A helpful member of staff pointed out a traffic barrier on the road and told me that if I drove towards it, the barrier would lift up and allow me through. And there was the challenge. If he was right I'd get back in extra quick time. And if he was wrong, I would have a long drive in my scooter to get back onto the pavements. So I slowly drove up to the barrier which was about level with my nose. They're designed for lorries, so it only lifted when I was within millimetres. But it did lift and I carried on my journey!

That was certainly a case of holding my nerve even though I was unsure about what would happen next. That's what needs to happen in effective conversations at work. Sometimes we need to open a conversation without the security of knowing the other 5 bullet points which we have as our comfort in a notebook and trust our colleague and the process. Because then our colleague will find the way forward with our support rather than our solution. And because you won't know what will happen next, you will need to hold your nerve. And in doing that you are demonstrating trust which is a very powerful thing.

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who holds their nerve at work!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

2009-06-26T11:40:00.001+01:00

3D Juggling 435: New Bathroom

Claire writes: 'I simply noticed that the lino in the shower room had come unstuck. When we lifted it, the floor was soaking wet and black and mouldy. After 3 weeks, we isolated the source of the leak - a drip from the cistern. The loss adjuster says it will cost £2000 to make good the damage and the shower will have to be taken out to replace the floor and a wall. All because we have a boxed in cistern and never saw the drip. I had noticed some discolouring on the lino and put it down to excess trampling on with muddy shoes! Had the cistern been visible, the same problem would have been noticed in days and resolved for a few pounds. It has probably been dripping for several years.

How much time do you spend dealing with damage in your organisation? We have all met people who fly off the handle at the slightest thing, and then leave others dealing with the consequences. That's damaging. And you can see it. What can be just as damaging is the drip of dissatisfaction and complaints and unhappiness that is under the surface. It may be whispered. It may be unsaid. Unless there is a safe place to communicate well, it can be as damaging as the drip in our bathroom. It wasn't the drip that caused the damage. It was the way the architect had designed the room.

What's causing your damage?

If you want to know more about water, fire and wind damage in teams, read 'The Four Elements of Success' by Laurie Beth Jones.

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who works in damage limitation with staff!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com